Secretary, poking head into crowded conference room: Has anybody seen Mike Hunt?
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Coffee out of my nose…
Secretary, poking head into crowded conference room: Has anybody seen Mike Hunt?
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Coffee out of my nose…
CSR: Would you like to try it in your mouth?
4700 River Road
Riverdale, Maryland
Patient: What day is today?
Staff: Today is Thursday.
Patient: Hmmm… Is it last Thursday?
Staff: No, it’s this Thursday.
Patient: Oh.
Psychiatric hospital
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Another staff member
Assistant #1: I want to stab my eyes out. Is that normal?
Assistant #2: Yes.
Assistant #1: Just wanted to make sure.
640 5th Avenue
New York, NY
Female coworker: Dude. What’s with the mutton chops?
Male coworker: Just keepin’ it awesome, babe.
Wausau, Wisconsin
Woman on phone: If I sign up for a campus tour will I get to see the campus?
Male coworker: Tell her we lock her in a closet.
University
Eastern Michigan
Co-worker #1: So will you give the presentation to the new intake?
Co-worker #2: No.
Co-worker #1: Why not?
Co-worker #2: I have made a personal lifestyle choice not to be helpful to anyone in the company.
120 Tonbridge Road
Hildenborough, Kent
UK
Engineer #1: July 21st–is that the equinox or the solstice? I always get the two mixed up.
Engineer #2 (home-schooled): I dunno… I don't know anything about that satanic stuff.
Mississippi
Dispatch: Got a report of a small black car going very fast.
Officer: Any other description besides “small black car”?
Dispatch: It's going very fast.
Officer: Thanks… Over.
Police Scanner
Oregon
Overheard by: Mike
Worker #1: Boy, you look tired…
Project Manager: Yeah, it’s been hectic. I need some of that geico balboa stuff.
Worker #1: Uh, ginko bilboa?
Project Manager: That’s what I said.
Worker #1: No, you said “geico balboa”.
Project Manager: What’s the difference?
Worker #1: Well, Geico is an insurance company, and Balboa is Rocky the boxer’s–as in the movie–last name.
Project Manager: Ha! I wonder if he gets a hard time for that.
Worker #1: He’s not a real person. Besides, I think what you meant was you needed some ginseng. Do you know what ginko bilboa is for?
Worker #2: Okay, seriously, how long is this meeting going to be?
6700 Hollister Road
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Damien Sebastiani
