Woman on phone: If I sign up for a campus tour will I get to see the campus?
Male coworker: Tell her we lock her in a closet.
University
Eastern Michigan
Woman on phone: If I sign up for a campus tour will I get to see the campus?
Male coworker: Tell her we lock her in a closet.
University
Eastern Michigan
Co-worker #1: So will you give the presentation to the new intake?
Co-worker #2: No.
Co-worker #1: Why not?
Co-worker #2: I have made a personal lifestyle choice not to be helpful to anyone in the company.
120 Tonbridge Road
Hildenborough, Kent
UK
Engineer #1: July 21st–is that the equinox or the solstice? I always get the two mixed up.
Engineer #2 (home-schooled): I dunno… I don't know anything about that satanic stuff.
Mississippi
Dispatch: Got a report of a small black car going very fast.
Officer: Any other description besides “small black car”?
Dispatch: It's going very fast.
Officer: Thanks… Over.
Police Scanner
Oregon
Overheard by: Mike
Worker #1: Boy, you look tired…
Project Manager: Yeah, it’s been hectic. I need some of that geico balboa stuff.
Worker #1: Uh, ginko bilboa?
Project Manager: That’s what I said.
Worker #1: No, you said “geico balboa”.
Project Manager: What’s the difference?
Worker #1: Well, Geico is an insurance company, and Balboa is Rocky the boxer’s–as in the movie–last name.
Project Manager: Ha! I wonder if he gets a hard time for that.
Worker #1: He’s not a real person. Besides, I think what you meant was you needed some ginseng. Do you know what ginko bilboa is for?
Worker #2: Okay, seriously, how long is this meeting going to be?
6700 Hollister Road
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Damien Sebastiani
Woman: So you only listen to the Cardigans on your iPod while you work?
Man: Yeah, they make me feel like a 16 year old girl just after a hot shower, fresh and tingly all over.
1111 Fannin Street
Houston, Texas
Junior art director: Hey, what month is eleven?
Chicago, Illinois
Sweaty, middle-aged man in running shorts: Hey,wait! Hey, wait! How old are you two?
Young business woman #1: Why?
Sweaty, middle-aged man in running shorts: I just wanted ask one of you out, but I can’t tell how old you are under your sunglasses.
Young business woman #2: Umm…no. We’re working.
Sweaty, middle-aged man: Oh, never mind.
2825 Eastlake Avenue East
Seattle, Washington
Co-worker: Does the whole building smell like urine? Or is it just my cube?
1601 Chestnut Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Speakerphone: So, we’re filling out nametags for next week’s meeting. What’s Randy’s title?
Receptionist: Well, he’s The Boss.
Speakerphone: Okay, but what’s his title?
Receptionist: “The Boss”. He’s The Boss.
Speakerphone: All right, he’s your boss, but what’s his title?
Receptionist: He’s “The Boss”!
Speakerphone: Oh, well then…um, okay that’s great. Thanks for your help.
35555 Garfield Road
Clinton Township, Michigan
Overheard by: Stephanie Saffold
