Manager: We’re all sharks. Remember, guys.
Employee: Huh? Sharks?
Manager: Yeah, we’re all like sharks. Sharks have to keep moving their whole life or they’ll die. They never stop moving. So keep moving, guys! We’re sharks!
Employee: So basically what you’re saying is that if we stop moving, you’ll kill us all?
208 Chain Lake Drive
Halifax, Nova Scotia
Canadia
Grunt #1: How much do you think a golf ball weighs?
Grunt #2: Over a pound, easy.
125 Corporate Office Center
Earth City, Missouri
Overheard by: Matt
Coworker in kitchen #1: Have you always had the problem, or have you changed you routine lately?
Coworker in kitchen #2: No, but I am on my knees a lot.
Marblehead, Massachusetts
Older male student records assistant on phone: Does the word “Firefox” mean anything to you?
Walnut Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Office girl: My mom said she almost wrecked her car the other day because she was watching Elvis pick up trash on the side of the road. My mom said he was picking up trash in his jumpsuit, right there on the side of the road.
Office guy: Elvis was doing a little community service, was he?
Charlotte, North Carolina
Assistant: Did you know that dogs get breast cancer?
Supervisor: What?
Assistant: I used to work at a vet office, and they would bring in dogs with breast cancer!
Supervisor, after googling it: Yeah, I guess they do!
Assistant: Oh, really?! I made that up!
Supervisor: I'm done with you.
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Digitdy
Boss: Do you hear that? That’s the sound of me getting screwed.
473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon
CSR verifying an address: “J” as in the letter “J” in the alphabet?
Manhattan, New York
Employee: Why do you have rubber gloves?
Photographer: Don’t worry about that.
Newport Beach, California
Overheard by: Not surprised
Coworker #1: This is Matcha.
Coworker #2: What's Matcha?
Coworker #1: It's tea.
Coworker #2: I feel like a tea bag…
Los Alamitos, California
Overheard by: Lisa
