Guy in stall #1: Hey, what’s up? Yeah, okay. You still wanna do that today?
Massive eruption occurs from next stall.
Guy in stall #2: Huh? Oh, that… I’m taking a shit right now…
Livermore, California
Overheard by: Stephen
Guy in stall #1: Hey, what’s up? Yeah, okay. You still wanna do that today?
Massive eruption occurs from next stall.
Guy in stall #2: Huh? Oh, that… I’m taking a shit right now…
Livermore, California
Overheard by: Stephen
Woman in cubicle to peon: Did you see me do the donkey face?
Malden, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Better than a punch
Account Manager: Hey, do you feel like a monkey in the middle of an idiot sandwich?
Process Analyst: That would make you one of the idiots. Are you calling yourself an idiot?
Account Manager: Oh…huh?
5 minutes later.
Process Analyst: Hey, do you feel like an idiot in a monkey sandwich?
Account Manager: Ha! Now you are the idiot!
Process Analyst: No…that still makes you the idiot.
520 Guthridge Court
Norcross, Georgia
Peon to fellow cube-mates: What would happen if no one ever reached their target, but they just kept placing it further and further away for the sake of “striving for excellence”? (pause) Sounds like you're setting up your people for failure. You ever watch Ninja Warrior? That show is the bomb. They have crazy, semi-impossible obstacle courses, and if a contestant passes all four stages, they win. The point is, no one is supposed to win! The obstacles get harder and harder to keep people from succeeding, not to hope and pray that they win… You are all honorary ninja warriors.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: Rio
Boss to notoriously unreliable person: Jane, are you writing this down?
Jane: Yes, I am writing this down… in my mind.
Seward, Nebraska
Coworker on phone to business contact: So, are you talking about fecal year 2008 or 2009?
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: analyst
Asian coworker: What are you doing?
Caucasian coworker: Assembling the trade booth so we all know how to do it.
Asian coworker: Trade booth?
Caucasian coworker: For conventions, we set this up so people know who we are.
Asian coworker: What are you trading? Can I trade?
Caucasian coworker: Nevermind! Go back to your desk!
Rochelle Park, New Jersey
Communications manager: He said your box is boring.
Graphics designer: He said my box is what?
Webmaster: You have a boring box?
Graphics designer: I've never had complaints before.
Sensual Products Office
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: sensual products copywriter
Copywriter: So David*, did you thank your wife for the candy she gave you yesterday?
David: In more ways than one.
Proofreader: A simple “yes” would have been sufficient.
Wausau, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Why am I the one blushing?
