Reporter on phone: I'm calling about Davy Crockett. You don't know him? Didn't he attack you with a machete last week? Right. Well, he died. Yeah. You heard about that? Right. So you do know him.
Keene, New Hampshire
Reporter on phone: I'm calling about Davy Crockett. You don't know him? Didn't he attack you with a machete last week? Right. Well, he died. Yeah. You heard about that? Right. So you do know him.
Keene, New Hampshire
Female receptionist: Really? It's ten inches long?
Male office worker: Yup.
Female receptionist: I'd love to see a picture of that.
Male office worker: Okay, but don't show it to anyone else.
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Zippy The Wonderbat
Young female employee: Is the hole too big now?
Slightly older male employee: Um, I don't know… Here, can you pull it out?
Young female employee: Yeah… Oh, okay, now I think the hole is lined up.
Slightly older male employee: That's better, huh? Push it in.
Young female employee: Oh, wait… now it's moving a little bit.
Slightly older male employee: Yeah? That's better?
Young female employee: Do you want to push it in now against the wall?
Syracuse, New York
Graphic designer: Ah, shut up, midget mother.
Ad sales girl: What? “Midget mother”? What the fuck does that mean?
Graphic designer: Your mother's a midget.
Scranton, Pennsylvania
Intern #1: I heard that when a girl loses her virginity, her face changes.
Intern #2: You mean you can see it on her face?
Intern #1: No. Her face actually gets longer.
Intern #2: That doesn't make sense.
Intern #1: No, it's true. I've noticed it in some of my friends.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Drew Ball
Young girl, about new apartment: And I really need a bed.
Older lady: Why? You don't have one?
Young girl: No, I have one, but I want one that's like a grownup bed, but also because sleeping with a 6'6″ guy in a twin bed is silly.
Old lady: I think you doing anything with a 6'6″ guy is probably silly.
Young girl: Well, nothing we do involves standing up, really, so it's not that silly.
Old lady: Oh my god.
Insurance Office
Washington, DC
Inside sales rep, after eating piece of fruit from her mixed fruit cup: Um, this tastes kinda funny. Does fruit go bad?
Reading, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: her stupidity is melting my brain
Office peon on phone: Look, I'm busy right now so I'll have to call you back. What's your phone number?
Stupid office peon: Ummm… I don't know. I never call myself.
Nashville, Tennessee
Peon to office: Has anyone seen a magazine and some aloe lotion?
Broadway, Chicago
Female sales director: So let me get this straight, you're asking me to look as slutty as possible for the event?
Male VP: Well, that is why I hired you, after all.
Female sales director: Wow! Did you really just say that?
Male VP: What? Okay, okay… you're good at your job too. Happy?
California
