Senior administrator: Speaking of birth control, how is your daughter?
Professor: Knocked up.
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Senior administrator: Speaking of birth control, how is your daughter?
Professor: Knocked up.
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Italian coworker: John, can I ask you a question?
British coworker: Sigh. (pause) Yes, I am British, and no, I'm not sorry about it.
Dublin
Ireland
Male interviewer: So where are you from?
Female applicant: I’m from here, but all my family is from Vietnam.
Male interviewer: Yeah? My ex-wife is from Vietnam. Ever since that war over there, I haven’t really been a fan of wars, ya know?
Doc Green’s, Cumberland Boulevard
Atlanta, Georgia
Law Firm Girl: Who gives a shit about work; do you subscribe to Good Housekeeping?
100 Maiden Lane
New York, NY
Employee #1: Oh…I think I peed a little! I have to go check. Be right back.
Employee #2: …So how did your pee test go?
Employee #1: No, I didn’t pee. Maybe it was just discharge.
5409 N. Florida Avenue
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Kristen
Office girl on phone: What is it? (pause) Does it feel weird?
Cleveland, Ohio
Bartender: I was sitting at the bar having a beer before work, and an old lady came up and gave me the nicest compliment.
Manager: Oh, yeah? What did she say?
Bartender: She told me that I was a very pretty girl and I should get up off the barstool and quit being a slut all my life.
Manager: So, she really called you a slut.
Bartender: Well… I guess she did.
405 N Interurban Avenue
Richardson, Texas
Lackey #1, holding paper trimmer: Hey, why don't you put your hand in here?
Lackey #2: Why would I want to put my hand anywhere your dick has been?
Western Australia
Coworker #1: I really like the new guy. He's refreshing. It's like he's not tainted.
Coworker #2: You mean he has no taint?
Burlington, Vermont
Female coworker #1: Is that a cucumber you just pulled out of your desk drawer?
Female coworker #2: Yeah, Connie gave it to me yesterday. So watch out: today is “beat people with a cucumber day”, so if you piss me off I'm gonna hit you with my cucumber.
Female coworker #1: Wait… Why did Connie give you a cucumber?
Female coworker #2: She had it at her desk yesterday and was having some fun with it. Then she got tired of it, so she gave it to me.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: WD40
