Raise Your Hand If You Assumed “Get My Freak On” Meant Something Else

White attorney,at deposition: Are there any activities you used to do before the accident that you can no longer do?
Trinidadian woman, 55: I can’t get my freak on anymore.
White attorney, smiling: Remember, I have to report this to a bunch of other white people. How often did you used to freak before the accident?
Trinidadian woman: Oh, I went to dance clubs all the time. Plus I used to go hiking all the time.
White attorney: And by “hiking,” you mean walking on nature trails, right? I mean, that’s not some hip-hop slang, right?
Trinidadian woman: Yeah, just walking up mountains and stuff.

Brooklyn, New York

Overheard by: Big Larry

Posted on December 20, 2014
Accidents, Bimbettes, Compare and contrast, Default, Lawyers, New York, Places, Questions, Sexuality, Words

9AM Back to Work

Boss: How come you’re late?
Employee: I had a hard time deciding which eyeshadow looked best with blood shot eyes.

5760 Highway 80 East
Pearl, Mississippi

Overheard by: Brain Dancing

Posted on December 20, 2014
Bosses and Underlings, Health & Hygiene, Questions, Southeast

…on My Computer

Server #1 : So…yeah, I'm going on a cruise to Hawaii.
Server #2: Oh, wow, where are you leaving from?
Server #1: Florida.
Server #2: That's a really long cruise.
Server #1: No, it's not! They're practically right next to each other!

Twinsburg, Ohio

Posted on December 19, 2014
Coworkers, General Idiocy, Geography & History, Ohio, Questions, Travel, Vacation

Like Texans Still Do?

Boss on phone: Do you think when Jesus comes back he wants to see himself on the cross? It's like going up to Jackie O with a rifle on a chain and saying, “I'm remembering JFK!”

Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Ren

Posted on December 19, 2014
Bosses, Compare and contrast, Crimes, Death, Georgia, On the phone, Politics, Questions, Religion, Wishes

The One Thing That Would Make Wii Better

Coworker on phone: Excuse me for a second…why did we block out the penis? Oh my god, it's a penis parade!

Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Not on the parade route

Posted on December 18, 2014
Body Parts, California, Coworkers, On the phone, Questions, Sexuality

Metrosexuality Finally Reaches the Midwest

Male coworker #1: My wife bought me fuchsia underwear last night.
Male coworker #2: Were they men's underwear?
Male coworker #1: Yep, but very fuchsia.
Male coworker #3: Are you sure they weren't magenta?
Male coworker #1: What the hell is the difference?
Male coworker #3: Magenta is more manly, it has more blue it in.

Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: just call it purple

Posted on December 17, 2014
Clothes, Colors, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Minnesota, Questions

We’ve Found Our Foreman

Lawyer: Have you been involved in any bike accidents?
Potential juror: I was hit by a car while riding my bike in the Hamptons. I was seriously injured, but I didn’t die.

60 Centre Street
New York, NY

Posted on December 16, 2014
Death, General Idiocy, New York, Questions, Strangers, Suits

2PM Deposit Checks

Mortgage Specialist: I have to say this loan is for you. In fact, if you were to reject the loan I would frankly have to drive down to
your house and shoot your porch light out.
Borrower: Well we can’t have that now, can we?

440 W 200 S
Salt Lake City, Utah

Overheard by: AK 47