On the phone

Manager on phone: I googled it on the internet.

Juneau, Alaska

Female boss on phone: I have never seen one that big, I don't think I can handle one that big.

Pharmacy
Atlanta, Georgia

Telephone grunt #1: There was someone pooping in the hallway?
Telephone grunt #2: That’s what she said! Hold on, I’m going to call her. [Calls non-telephone-based grunt] She was pooping and walking? In the garage? Okay. I guess I just had to hear it again to believe it.

175 South 3rd Street
Columbus, Ohio

Sales rep, on the phone with a client: Well, why don’t you tell me how big yours is, and I’ll tell you how big mine is.

Coker Tire
Chattanooga, Tennessee

Telephone receptionist, over intercom system: I need Dick on line three, Dick on line three!

Bank
Kentucky

Overheard by: will1966

Co-worker on phone: When she goes to a restaurant, does she normally take it off?…Does she normally read the newspaper?…And the pouch, were you able to stick your hands all the way down in the back?

37383 Six Mile Road
Livonia, Michigan

Overheard by: Next Door Nancy

Drafter on phone: Um, ya, give me a second and I can put it up on the screen… (sighs) Oh, there it is… Almost up there… That's better.

Central Point, Oregon

Advertising intern, dialing number: Hello, I was wondering if you still have the silver ferret from yesterday? Okay, thanks.

New Orleans, Louisiana

Overheard by: get me out of here

Program manager on phone: Have you thought of marrying this chick? (pause) Does she give good head? (pause) Okay, is she willing to learn?

North Carolina

Skinny middle-aged man to large middle-aged receptionist: May I borrow your phone?
Receptionist: Sure, sugar.
Skinny middle-aged man, after calmly speaking with another doctor: And when I get there, I'm going to crap on your desk! (to receptionist) Thank you for letting me borrow your phone.
Receptionist: You're welcome, sugar.

Gastroenterology Office
Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: the intern