On the phone

Coworker, during meeting: For instance, if Bob had a dentist appointment, we would need someone to cover the phones that day.
Boss: Are you kidding? Bob doesn't go to the dentist, have you smelled his breath?

Los Angeles, California

Suit #1: Why didn’t you call me?
Suit #2: I didn’t have your number.
Suit #1: If you called me I could have given it to you.

32nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey

Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer

Female coworker: I'm about half tired of people calling me “sir” on the phone. Do I sound that much like a man?
Male coworker: You don't sound like a man, you sound like a drag queen.

Nashville, Tennessee

Overheard by: bigcutebeachgirl

Mail teller: You’ll need to call 1-800-USPS. Wait. That doesn’t sound right. It must be 1-800-USPS though.
Customer: Okay. Thanks!

Post Office
Rochester, New York

Overheard by: How many digits in a phone number?

Admin, screaming into phone: What do you want me to do? I can't do this now, I'm at work! (pause) Well, I can't deal with this now, I'm working! I don't know what to tell you! (pause) I don't have any damn money!! I spent all my money on that private investigator! (pause) I can't do this now, I'm at work!
Boss: Sarah, in my office now.
Admin: I have to go, my boss needs me.

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Jeremy Hawn

Receptionist on phone in earshot of a client: She said that she told her manager, ‘I hate my fucking job.’ I told her that it was completely inappropriate to say ‘fuck’ at work.

Austin, Texas

IT guy on phone: Be ready when I get home.
(clicks it to speakerphone)
IT guy’s wife: Well, that is fine but I did not put the butt plug in the freezer yet.
IT guy: (clicks speaker phone off) Hey! Sorry, I know you hate the speakerphone…

Naval Base
Pensacola, Florida

Admin on phone: …and the baby smelled like fried chicken!

Grand Rapids, Michigan

Boss on phone: Are you calling for a trumpet or are you trying to fix me up with someone?

Miami, Florida

Doctor, on conference call: I might be teaching you to suck eggs…

Alexandria, Virginia