Office worker on phone: She squeezed my ass this time but I did get a kiss…when you've got 250 pounds of Wisconsin looming at ya, your options are limited, all you can do is brace for the impact!
Sterling, Virginia
Overheard by: Scandalized Receptionist
Fire department personnel, answering phone: Fire department, can I help you?
Woman on phone: Yes, can I get a burn permit?
Fire department personnel: Yes, ma'am, just come to our office and we'll write one.
Woman on phone: And what are your hours?
Fire department personnel: Uh, ma'am? We're the fire department, we don't close.
California
Employee: Thanks for calling iTransact, can I help you?
Customer: Yes, I’d like to cancel my account, please.
Employee: No problem, sir. Can I have your name, please?
Customer: Yes, it’s ‘Frank.’ That’s ‘F’ as in ‘Frank,’ R-A-N-K.
Farmington, Utah
Hosting rep: Alright sir, I reset your password so you can log in.
Pause
Hosting rep: Are you ready for it now?
Pause
Hosting rep: Ok sir, it’s all capital letters… It is I-D-1-0-T.
4800 Concentric Boulevard
Saginaw, Michigan
Engineer on phone: I could try to sell you a penis enlarging pump instead, if you’d like… No, of course it’s not used!
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia
Receptionist, as editor walks in: How did [aspiring author] sound on the phone?
Editor: I dunno, what do you mean?
Receptionist: Well, I sent him information about how to publish his book, and he told me that his family was trying to kill him.
Lawrence, Massachusetts
Boss on phone: The Farmers’ market? Oh right. They have food there.
Center City
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: DyingMentally
Supervisor on phone: …I dunno where. You like Korean food? Of course you do, you’re one of them.
6101 Wetzel Avenue
Fort Carson, Colorado
Male banker on phone: He cheated on her and she took him back. Now I think she might dump him, which is really funny because, you know, he’s got everything, and she’s just so… average!
54th Street and Park Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: not-nearly -as-shallow female banker
Project manager: Stop making love over the phone!
810 Seventh Avenue
New York, New York
