They’ll Be Every Bit As Helpful As I Am

Mail teller: You’ll need to call 1-800-USPS. Wait. That doesn’t sound right. It must be 1-800-USPS though.
Customer: Okay. Thanks!

Post Office
Rochester, New York

Overheard by: How many digits in a phone number?

Posted on December 5, 2017
Customers, Default, Employees, General Idiocy, Government, New York, On the phone

Maybe He Has a Lead on Carmen Sandiego

Admin, screaming into phone: What do you want me to do? I can't do this now, I'm at work! (pause) Well, I can't deal with this now, I'm working! I don't know what to tell you! (pause) I don't have any damn money!! I spent all my money on that private investigator! (pause) I can't do this now, I'm at work!
Boss: Sarah, in my office now.
Admin: I have to go, my boss needs me.

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Jeremy Hawn

Posted on October 15, 2017
Admins, Bosses, Money, New York, On the phone, Questions, Time Management, Weirdness

But It Turns Out I Was Wrong

Receptionist on phone in earshot of a client: She said that she told her manager, ‘I hate my fucking job.’ I told her that it was completely inappropriate to say ‘fuck’ at work.

Austin, Texas

Posted on September 25, 2017
Gossip, On the phone, Receptionists, Texas

Let’s All Brush Up on Our Speakerphone Etiquette

IT guy on phone: Be ready when I get home.
(clicks it to speakerphone)
IT guy’s wife: Well, that is fine but I did not put the butt plug in the freezer yet.
IT guy: (clicks speaker phone off) Hey! Sorry, I know you hate the speakerphone…

Naval Base
Pensacola, Florida

Posted on September 22, 2017
Couples, Default, Feelings, Florida, On the phone, Sexuality, Tech People, The Military

The Colonel's Demon-Spawn Lives on in Michigan

Admin on phone: …and the baby smelled like fried chicken!

Grand Rapids, Michigan

Posted on September 21, 2017
Admins, Animals, Compare and contrast, Meals and Snacks, Michigan, On the phone, Sensory Experiences, Weirdness

Because, Either Way, I'm Horny.

Boss on phone: Are you calling for a trumpet or are you trying to fix me up with someone?

Miami, Florida

Posted on September 17, 2017
Bosses, Florida, Offers and requests, On the phone, Relationships

…But Think Of It As an Investment in Your Future.

Doctor, on conference call: I might be teaching you to suck eggs…

Alexandria, Virginia

Posted on August 30, 2017
Doctors, Education, Meals and Snacks, On the phone, Possible Sexual Harassment, Sensory Experiences, Sexuality, Virginia

Especially If He’s the Simon Who Helped Jesus Carry His Cross

Wishful thinking peon on phone: Yes, I can meet with this Simon guy. It’s not that Simon from American Idol, is it? Oh? That’s too bad… I guess I’ll still meet with him, though.

111 East Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Hear No Evil