Department head on phone, talking about screws and fasteners: A Tek 5 should work fine… What? Did you just say “super woody”?
New Braunfels, Texas
Overheard by: That Guy
Department head on phone, talking about screws and fasteners: A Tek 5 should work fine… What? Did you just say “super woody”?
New Braunfels, Texas
Overheard by: That Guy
Coworker on phone: No, no, they want to build a better mousetrap. We want to take the mousetrap, dismantle it, and build an aircraft carrier. It's completely different.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Melissa
Office worker on phone: She squeezed my ass this time but I did get a kiss…when you've got 250 pounds of Wisconsin looming at ya, your options are limited, all you can do is brace for the impact!
Sterling, Virginia
Overheard by: Scandalized Receptionist
Fire department personnel, answering phone: Fire department, can I help you?
Woman on phone: Yes, can I get a burn permit?
Fire department personnel: Yes, ma'am, just come to our office and we'll write one.
Woman on phone: And what are your hours?
Fire department personnel: Uh, ma'am? We're the fire department, we don't close.
California
Employee: Thanks for calling iTransact, can I help you?
Customer: Yes, I’d like to cancel my account, please.
Employee: No problem, sir. Can I have your name, please?
Customer: Yes, it’s ‘Frank.’ That’s ‘F’ as in ‘Frank,’ R-A-N-K.
Farmington, Utah
Hosting rep: Alright sir, I reset your password so you can log in.
Pause
Hosting rep: Are you ready for it now?
Pause
Hosting rep: Ok sir, it’s all capital letters… It is I-D-1-0-T.
4800 Concentric Boulevard
Saginaw, Michigan
Engineer on phone: I could try to sell you a penis enlarging pump instead, if you’d like… No, of course it’s not used!
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia
Receptionist, as editor walks in: How did [aspiring author] sound on the phone?
Editor: I dunno, what do you mean?
Receptionist: Well, I sent him information about how to publish his book, and he told me that his family was trying to kill him.
Lawrence, Massachusetts
Boss on phone: The Farmers’ market? Oh right. They have food there.
Center City
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: DyingMentally
Supervisor on phone: …I dunno where. You like Korean food? Of course you do, you’re one of them.
6101 Wetzel Avenue
Fort Carson, Colorado
