I Need a Break from Listening to My Wife Go on about It

Employee on phone: Yeah, you know, my dad died last weekend, which is a good thing… Hey, you wanna go fishin’?

Mesa, Arizona

Posted on January 11, 2021
Arizona, Coworkers, On the phone, Time Management

…To Simulate the College Weekend Experience

Woman on phone: If I sign up for a campus tour will I get to see the campus?
Male coworker: Tell her we lock her in a closet.

University
Eastern Michigan

Posted on January 9, 2021
Comebacks, Coworkers, Education, General Idiocy, Michigan, On the phone, Questions, Vacation

So is He Bruce Springsteen or Tony Danza?

Speakerphone: So, we’re filling out nametags for next week’s meeting. What’s Randy’s title?
Receptionist: Well, he’s The Boss.
Speakerphone: Okay, but what’s his title?
Receptionist: “The Boss”. He’s The Boss.
Speakerphone: All right, he’s your boss, but what’s his title?
Receptionist: He’s “The Boss”!
Speakerphone: Oh, well then…um, okay that’s great. Thanks for your help.

35555 Garfield Road
Clinton Township, Michigan

Overheard by: Stephanie Saffold

Posted on December 15, 2020
General Idiocy, Michigan, On the phone, Questions, Receptionists

I Will Now Return to My Reverie, Already in Progress

Lawyer on phone: Ya know, I wasn’t really paying attention to what you were saying, but I am leaning towards agreeing with you.

St. Petersburg, Florida

Overheard by: IWNDRY

Posted on December 3, 2020
Florida, General Idiocy, Lawyers, On the phone

Wouldn’t Stop Driving My Hot Rod Lincoln

Woman: I’d like to pay my cell phone bill, but it’s in my son’s name and I don’t have the password to see it online. So, I need to know how much it is.
Employee: You can’t pay it without his authorization. I can’t tell you how much it is.
Woman: He can’t authorize anything, he’s incarcerated.
Employee: Well, we’ll need a copy of the obituary or the death certificate.
Woman: What? He’s incarcerated! [pause] He’s in jail.
Employee: Oh.

Frederick, Maryland

Posted on November 25, 2020
Compare and contrast, Crimes, Customer Service, Customer Support, Customers, Default, Dumb Employees, Education, Family, General Idiocy, Maryland, Money, Offers and requests, On the phone, Questions, Words

For Our Readers Who Are Thinking About Quitting College

Woman in line at Starbucks, on cell: They stripped me, in the office, to my bra and underwear! (phone beeps) Just a minute. (switches to waiting call) Yeah? Yeah, I can get you an oatmeal.

Honolulu, Hawaii

Overheard by: Jade Buddha

Posted on November 7, 2020
Clothes, Employees, Hawaii, Meals and Snacks, On the phone, Possible Sexual Harassment, Weirdness

It’s the Stooges, on Conference Call

Tech on phone: Hello, sir, I’m calling to– Yes, hello, this is Aaron* from– Yes, hello, I’m calling to verify an order you placed wi– Don’t say ‘hello’ again! I know you can hear me!

216 Mitch Lane
Hopkinsville, Kentucky