That’s a Sobriety Test in and of Itself

Lab tech: He needs to retake the drug screening.
Nurse: Why? He said he was ready to give a urine sample.
Lab tech: Well… How do I put this delicately? He did give us *a* sample… Just not the kind we needed.
Nurse: Wait, you mean… he… Oh my god! How the hell did he poop in that cup? I am impressed!
Lab tech: Yea, I kinda am to.

Hospital
Columbus, Ohio

Overheard by: Workin’ here for the insurance

Posted on June 19, 2008
Compare and contrast, Default, Feelings, General Idiocy, Health & Hygiene, Medical, Nurses, Ohio, Tech People, Weirdness

And Why It Has So Many New Pictures

Secretary: …and the next time you talk to her, ask her why my cell phone was up her shirt.

Akron, Ohio

Posted on June 12, 2008
Default, Employees, Offers and requests, Ohio, Questions, Weirdness

Colleagues May Reject the Defining Films of Your Generation. Get Over It.

Copywriter: I haven’t seen Mallrats.
Designer: What?!
Copywriter: Or The Goonies.
Designer: Have you seen any movie?
Copywriter: Those are the only two I haven’t seen.

Plum Street, Cincinnati
Ohio

Overheard by: Erica

Posted on June 11, 2008
Cinema, Coworkers, Default, Design and Editorial, Designers and Photographers, Ohio, Questions, Weirdness, Writers and Editors

One Of Them Already Told Me to Stop Slouching

Manager, giving “Take your kid to work day” tour: Do you know who works in this department?
Kid on tour: Old people!

Oak Tree Boulevard
Cleveland, Ohio

Posted on May 27, 2008
Age and ageing, Default, Employees, Kids, Ohio, Questions

The Workshop Required Them All to Crochet “Fags Is the Best Girlfriends” on Little Pillows

Black female coworker: Oooh, honey, I love me some fags. Fags is the best girlfriends.
White queer coworker: That’s ’cause we all want to be black women!
White female coworker: Can the rest of us get workplace diversity hours for listening to this shit?

Columbus, Ohio

Overheard by: Giggling in my cube

Posted on April 24, 2008
Coworkers, Default, Gays and lesbians, Gripes, Offers and requests, Office Politics, Ohio, Questions, Race, Sexuality, Wishes

And When I Call Her, She Answers Only to Say, “I’m Not Here– Leave a Message”

VP: I can’t understand some people. I emailed *Karen with a specific question and she just replied, “I am currently out of the office and will return in one week”. Why didn’t she answer my question?

Beachwood, Ohio

Posted on April 22, 2008
Default, Dumb Bosses, Executives, Office Politics, Ohio, Questions, Travel

For the Last Time, “Mailer-Daemon” Is Not a Person

VP: The guy’s stupider than he looks.
Peon: What does he look like?
VP: I don’t know, I’ve never seen him.

Beachwood, Ohio

Posted on April 22, 2008
Bosses, Comebacks, Compare and contrast, Employees, Insults, Ohio, Questions, Sensory Experiences

She Wins the Office Gracie Allen Award Every Year

Very serious ditzy receptionist: On project runway last night, I picked the winner and loser of the challenge and the order everyone was going to be called out before Heidi even called them.
Receptionist friend: You rock.
Very serious ditzy receptionist: I know. [pauses] But that doesn’t mean I’m made of stone.

Columbus, Ohio