Girl #1: Oh my god! You are such a slut!
Girl #2: I am not a slut!
Girl #3: It’s true, she’s not a slut. She’s just a fake-ass ho.
Girl #1: Yeah, you’re such a fake-ass ho.
Girl #2: Yeah, true.

1310 Sycamore Street
Cincinnati, Ohio

Woman: Hand me one of those magazines.
Man: Gourmet?
Woman: No.
Man: Newsweek?
Woman: No.
Man: Time?
Woman: No. [Looks at kids’ table.] What about that table over there?
Man: Well, there’s Highlights
Woman: Okay, grab those. [Begins working on puzzles.] What’s hollow — a lute, a sponge, or a jar?
Man: Lute.
Woman: No, sponge.
Man: You can’t see through a sponge.
Teen nearby: Can’t see through a wall, either, and it’s hollow.
Man: True. Got a point there. Must be a sponge.
Woman: Okay, it’s a sponge.

Waiting area, Forensic and Mental Health Services
Hamilton, Ohio

Overheard by: Kim

Co-worker: She said I was giving her an ulcer…But I don’t even have ulcers!

1127 Euclid Avenue
Cleveland, Ohio

Employee #1: So, if it’s 7:11 now, and I have a 30 minute break, what time do I have to be back?
Employee #2: Uh, 7:41.
Employee #1: How did you figure that out so fast?

Huron Road
Cleveland, Ohio

Banker: Yeah, he’s losin’ his eyesight…He can barely see now. He’s got that immaculate degeneration or whatever it’s called. But he still builds things with power tools. It’s pretty amazing…but kinda scary.

200 Nationwide Boulevard
Columbus, Ohio

Drone #1: This is one thing I didn’t miss last week.
Drone #2: What? Elevators?
Drone #1: Yeah.
Drone #3: Don’t they have them in West Virginia?

175 S. Third Street
Columbus, Ohio

Coworker: King Tut's tomb didn't make you sick, moron, it was eating all the testicles!

Dayton, Ohio

Sweet little old lady #1: Well, we didn't know if we should spit or swallow.
Sweet little old lady #2: What did you do?
Sweet little old lady #1: I swallowed.

Cincinnati, Ohio

Lady peon: My husband’s doctor told him that his liver is so bad that he has to quit drinking, so I’m going to quit with him. [Later] I can’t wait to have a couple beers tonight.
Confused coworker: I thought you said you were going to quit drinking with your husband!
Lady peon: Well, a few drinks won’t hurt him.

Columbiana, Ohio

Overheard by: ChatsMcGee

Employee to IT: So, I have to get my kid baptized, and I’ve been search the web all day. I find this site that says ‘Weddings and baptisms,’ so I open it up and — you guessed it — porn!

20800 Harvard Road
Cleveland, Ohio