Like the One Your Parents Should Have Used

Woman: Hand me one of those magazines.
Man: Gourmet?
Woman: No.
Man: Newsweek?
Woman: No.
Man: Time?
Woman: No. [Looks at kids’ table.] What about that table over there?
Man: Well, there’s Highlights…
Woman: Okay, grab those. [Begins working on puzzles.] What’s hollow — a lute, a sponge, or a jar?
Man: Lute.
Woman: No, sponge.
Man: You can’t see through a sponge.
Teen nearby: Can’t see through a wall, either, and it’s hollow.
Man: True. Got a point there. Must be a sponge.
Woman: Okay, it’s a sponge.

Waiting area, Forensic and Mental Health Services
Hamilton, Ohio

Overheard by: Kim

Posted on November 18, 2022
Dumb Customers, Ohio, Time Management

9AM Where’s My Tums…

Co-worker: She said I was giving her an ulcer…But I don’t even have ulcers!

1127 Euclid Avenue
Cleveland, Ohio

Posted on November 11, 2022
Coworkers, General Idiocy, Gripes, Health & Hygiene, Ohio, Words

Every Office Has Its Very Own Rainman

Employee #1: So, if it’s 7:11 now, and I have a 30 minute break, what time do I have to be back?
Employee #2: Uh, 7:41.
Employee #1: How did you figure that out so fast?

Huron Road
Cleveland, Ohio

Posted on November 6, 2022
Coworkers, Default, Employees, General Idiocy, Ohio, Questions, Time Management, Weirdness

3PM Smoke Break

Banker: Yeah, he’s losin’ his eyesight…He can barely see now. He’s got that immaculate degeneration or whatever it’s called. But he still builds things with power tools. It’s pretty amazing…but kinda scary.

200 Nationwide Boulevard
Columbus, Ohio

Posted on October 30, 2022
Compliments, Financial Folk, Gripes, Health & Hygiene, Ohio

Yes, But They Go Left to Right

Drone #1: This is one thing I didn’t miss last week.
Drone #2: What? Elevators?
Drone #1: Yeah.
Drone #3: Don’t they have them in West Virginia?

175 S. Third Street
Columbus, Ohio

Posted on October 27, 2022
Coworkers, General Idiocy, Geography & History, Gripes, Ohio, Technology

…of the Mummies.

Coworker: King Tut's tomb didn't make you sick, moron, it was eating all the testicles!

Dayton, Ohio

Posted on September 19, 2022
Body Parts, Coworkers, Geography & History, Health & Hygiene, Insults, Meals and Snacks, Ohio, Travel, Weirdness

…Which Is What Jesus Would Do.

Sweet little old lady #1: Well, we didn't know if we should spit or swallow.
Sweet little old lady #2: What did you do?
Sweet little old lady #1: I swallowed.

Cincinnati, Ohio

Posted on August 25, 2022
Friends, Ohio, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Sexuality

You Know How Many Drinks $10,000 Will Buy?

Lady peon: My husband’s doctor told him that his liver is so bad that he has to quit drinking, so I’m going to quit with him. [Later] I can’t wait to have a couple beers tonight.
Confused coworker: I thought you said you were going to quit drinking with your husband!
Lady peon: Well, a few drinks won’t hurt him.

Columbiana, Ohio

Overheard by: ChatsMcGee

Posted on August 22, 2022
Coworkers, Ohio, Substance Use & Abuse

So Jenna Jameson’s Baptizing My Kid Tonight

Employee to IT: So, I have to get my kid baptized, and I’ve been search the web all day. I find this site that says ‘Weddings and baptisms,’ so I open it up and — you guessed it — porn!

20800 Harvard Road
Cleveland, Ohio

Posted on June 30, 2022
Employees, Gossip, Ohio

…Since She's Really Been Behind in Her Work Lately.

Boss to secretary: Where is Linda*? Call her, I need to evaluate her, but…
Secretary: That makes me nervous…

Sylvania, Ohio

Overheard by: jullylully

Posted on June 8, 2022
Admins, Body Parts, Bosses, Ohio, Sexuality, Words