Coworker: It's so cheesy–the dong. It's like “here, hit the dong! We're not giving you a raise, but you get to hit the dong.”

Dublin, Ohio

Overheard by: MissTW

Bible-thumping coworker: It’s my son’s 35th birthday today. I can’t believe my oldest is going to be 35.
Normal coworker: Oh? How many children do you have?
Bible-thumping coworker: Let’s see… I have three biological and one spiritual. But we’re much more than spiritual, really. It’s like we have this connection.
Normal coworker, to herself: Riiiiight.

100 Main Street
Cincinnati, Ohio

Creative director: Alright, nice work, guys.
Designer: Before you leave, can I grab you real quick–
Creative director: Depends on where.

312 Plum Street
Cincinnati, Ohio

Dude: If you really want to save money on gas then you should get a hybrid car.
Chick: Hybrid? Does that mean it runs on electricity?
Dude: Uh…yeah
Chick: Well what happens when the sun goes down?

317 West Main Cross Street
Findlay, Ohio

Overheard by: Crut

50-year old guy #1: I don't want to be here.
50-year old guy #2, passing by: Just shit your pants. Nobody likes working with you if you have shitty pants.

Rocky River, Ohio

Boss: Let’s be clear about this… Actually, no, let’s be unclear.

10900 Martin Luther King Drive
Cleveland, Ohio

Shipping clerk: I have a package here for you.
Asian scientist: What is in the box?
Shipping clerk: I don’t know, but it’s probably cells, since it says ‘dry ice.’
Asian scientist: But what’s in the box?
Shipping clerk: Why don’t we take it to the lab and open the box?
Asian scientist: Okay, but what’s in the box?
American scientist: I think that’s the stuff you ordered.
Asian scientist: Oh, yes, okay. But what can possibly be in the box?

Columbus, Ohio

Boss: We should become alcoholics. That would make work so much easier.
Employee: That bottle of Bailey’s in my filing cabinet only lasted me a week and a half.
Boss: You had Bailey’s?
Employee: Ummm, no.

Lake Shore Drive
Columbus, Ohio

Boss in hallway (with hand on doorknob): Are you joining me in this conference room?
Peon: That's the closet.

Cleveland, Ohio

Overheard by: just another peon

Manager to another: You know, sometimes you are going to just walk out to your car and it will be covered entirely in vaseline.

Dayton, Ohio