Convention-goer in hallway: Want to come in? There! I just propositioned you!
Cleveland, Ohio
Convention-goer in hallway: Want to come in? There! I just propositioned you!
Cleveland, Ohio
New lady at the office: I need two big ones. Do you have a big one?
Contractor: Yes, mine's at least 19 inches.
Washington, DC
Cleaning lady, about deaf cleaning guy: I'm hiding up here from Tim–he wants me to help him clean that suite downstairs before the new company moves in. I don't wanna help him, cuz he never listens!
Columbus, Ohio
Guy auditor to gal auditor: If I solve your dating problems will you then complete my audits for me?
Burlington, Massachusetts
Overheard by: How Do I Get That Deal
Driver: I need to go home. There’s been an emergency.
Dispatcher: Oh! What happened?
Driver: Oh, my dad croaked, and I need to get maintenance on my truck. No biggie.
Dispatcher: Uh, okay.
7253 Western Select Drive
Indianapolis, Indiana
Coworker on phone: Rachel, I'm at work, please don't bother me with… (slams phone down) Bitch! (pause) 16 year old bitch…
Manhattan, New York
Attorney: I need a [investi]gator for a hand job.
Staff: Ha, ha! You mean a ‘hand delivery’?
South Jefferson Avenue
Springfield, Missouri
Overheard by: Left Lobe
Insurance salesman: Now, you can only die once, but you can become disabled many times.
Florida
Shop assistant: So, can I help you with anything else?
50-something woman: Yes, I'd like a big, long screw. About this big. (she demonstrates with hands)
Shop assistant: Wouldn't we all!
Hardware Store
Australia
Sailor, with sheet to sign: I need your signature on this.
Boss man: Ok, do you have a pen?
Sailor: Uh… No.
Boss: Tell me, Frank, how am I supposed to sparkle if you don’t give me any glitter? [Storms out of the room.]
Pt. Mugu Naval Base, California
