Service rep on phone: Yes, ma'am, I can find a salon near you. What is your zip code?
(sound of five beeps as woman keys in her zip code)
Service rep: Ma'am, could you speak your zip code, please?
(five beeps again)
Service rep: Ma'am! You are on the phone with a human being! Tell me, using your words, what you zip code is! (pause) Thank you, no, I'm not a recording!
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: Another Rep
Checkout teen: Would you like a CVS rewards card?
Hippie girl: No.
Checkout teen, hopefully: They're environmentally friendly.
Old Bridge, New Jersey
Mom, pointing to friend’s child: Say ‘Hello’ to Aidan*.
Shy child hiding face in mom’s leg: ‘Lo.
Mom: If you can’t look at him and ‘Hello’ properly then you can’t have swimming lessons. There, I just saved a hundred and fifty dollars!
145 Harlow Street
Bangor, Maine
Overheard by: Kelly
Boss: I need you to bust out that postcard ASAP! It’s priority number six!
Designer: Um, does it have to be done now or do five other things have to be done first?
Boss: Six is the new one!
Designer: I didn’t get that memo.
15335 Morrison Street
Sherman Oaks, California
Worker#1: Give me some jellybeans.
Worker#2: Fuck you! (pause) And don't call me jellybeans.
Clifton, New Jersey
Coworker on phone: Well, 69 works for me if it works for you.
Dana Point, California
Purchasing manager: We’re renegades. We’re running with the wolves. We ordered hot chocolate.
1 Railroad Ave
Cooperstown, New York
First-grade teacher: CHARLES! Give me those! Those are NAILS! Nails are unsafe and do not belong in your hands.
Student: Pshhh, unless you’re JESUS!
New York, New York
Overheard by: i want to adopt this kid
Intern, after a lengthy conversation with a make-up artist: Oh, and by the way, I’m here to do more than have conversations about murder and rape…
Sargent Place
Los Angeles, California
Loud female boss behind office door: Well, it's happened four times now. You obviously don't find me attractive anymore.
Boss' husband, on speakerphone: I don't control it! I simply submit requests!
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
