Male naval officer (over speakerphone): Do you need me to come over there?
Male naval office #2 (two cubicles down): No, sir, I just got it up. Everything's fine.
Male naval officer (over speakerphone): Well, let me know if you need help and I'll send someone over.
Male naval office #2 (two cubicles down): Roger that, sir.
Pacific Fleet Headquarters
Pearl Harbor, Hawaii
Overheard by: Just a lowly contractor
Telemarketer: Hello, could I speak to Wally the Clown please?
(short pause)
Telemarketer: Oh, sorry to disturb you then. (to coworker) Dialed the wrong number!
Talbot Road
Manchester
England
Overheard by: Thomas
Female coworker #1: Do you want half of my bagel?
Female coworker #2: Sure, thanks.
Female coworker #1: Okay, you can have the top.
Female coworker #2: Yay! I really like the top.
Female coworker #1: That's good. I really like the bottom.
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: cizzle
Co-worker #1: I really need to do Yoga again.
Co-worker #2: Do you want my Yoga tapes? I don’t do it anymore, because my dog just won’t leave me alone when I’m down on all fours.
57 East Green Street
Champaign, Illinois
Woman carrying heavy files: I need to go down to the branch and drop this off.
Man: Hello–I can help you carry that.
Woman: Aww! You had me at “hello”!
Man: You had me at “go down”!
Melville, New York
Underling: Is that what you need?
Boss: I was asking for a shark with laser beams, and I got a manatee with flashlights? Thanks.
Kadena Air Base
Okinawa, Japan
Overheard by: R U Shittin’ Me
Guy: Hey, can you tell me how to get to Billings, Montana?
Desk clerk: Yeah, just go north on 95, then east on 90. That’s the best way to get there.
Guy: Thanks! I just got fired. I’m a carnie. Carnie!
Hillcrest
Moscow, Idaho
Overheard by: They have small hands.
Older secretary lady: Childbirth is such a magical experience, unlike anything else in the world. It's just so amazing, you wont understand until you're a mom.
20-something female coworker: Um… All I asked was if I could reserve the company van!
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Vans have feelings too
Director: Here’s the travel laptop I’m returning. Can you delete some of the files I put on there?
IT Manager: Yeah, sure, I’ll clean it out. I better not find any pubic hairs stuck in the keyboard.
1100 L Street NW
Washington, DC
Case manager #1: We need to go to McDonald's.
Case manager #2: What are we gonna get?
Case manager #1: No, just to scare the kids.
San Antonio, Texas
