Saleslady to woman: How may I help you?
Woman: Hi, I'm looking for something specific.
(45 seconds of silence)
Saleslady: Aisle 14.
Victor, New York
Overheard by: Yikes!
Saleslady to woman: How may I help you?
Woman: Hi, I'm looking for something specific.
(45 seconds of silence)
Saleslady: Aisle 14.
Victor, New York
Overheard by: Yikes!
Products VP: Everyone who makes this crap is just as fucked as we are.
Finance VP: If only no one put this in their mouths…
Elmsford, New York
Overheard by: Bored Beyond Belief
Boss to underling: Would you please go next door and politely shoot their dog?
Gaithersburg, Maryland
Receptionist: No, sir. No, I don't know where you heard that. (pause) No, our judges cannot issue you a new Green Card over the phone.
Baltimore, Maryland
Attractive female employee: Hey Steve*, do you have something hard that I can suck on to keep me awake?
Steve*, after 15 second pause and in disbelief: Jane*, you really don't know how long I have been waiting for you to ask me that.
Attractive female employee, turning red: I meant did you have candy, like Jolly Ranchers or something.
San Luis Obisbo, California
University maintenance worker, over walkie-talkie: I was just talking with Lisa, and she says she has like a weird smell in her room. So I was gonna ask if you could come over here and help me smell it.
Hawaii
Overheard by: It takes two people?
Man, shouting at secretary: No! You will take this to the bank, then you’ll pick up my coffee, then you can go in to recovery!
Victoria Parade, East Melbourne
Victoria
Australia
Overheard by: Kate
Male worker to another: Damn, look at that girl's ass on MySpace!
Female worker: Could you guys do this somewhere else?
Male worker: Nope, you see, this office is just like the guys' locker room and you just happen to be working here.
Washington, DC
Parent to teacher: Would it be possible for students to have extra recess time instead of silent reading?
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Marcoms manager: The new Bluetooth dongles are here.
VP of operations: Can I have a dongle?
Marcoms manager: You just like saying the word “dongle.”
VP of operations: Actually, I already have a dongle, it's just not a Bluetooth one. (winks)
Marcoms manager: So you can't use it from 33 feet away?
VP of operations: Nope. If I could, that would be like a Tyrannosaurus dongle!
Seattle, Washington
