Male peon muttering to self: Hey, brain — work! Please work? At least for the next two hours!
Female peon: Are you talking to your brain?
Male peon: Yeah, I’m trying to get it to work.
Female peon: Oh.
8133 Leesburg Pike
Vienna, Virginia
Male peon muttering to self: Hey, brain — work! Please work? At least for the next two hours!
Female peon: Are you talking to your brain?
Male peon: Yeah, I’m trying to get it to work.
Female peon: Oh.
8133 Leesburg Pike
Vienna, Virginia
Boss on speaker phone: So I need you to give me those files, like, in five minutes.
Employee: Um.
Boss: I’m serious. I want them in my hand in five minutes.
Employee: You know that I work at home, right?
Boss: So?
Employee: So I live forty-five minutes away from your so-called “office”…Speaking of which, did you ever get that toilet out of the hallway?
3207 Hayloft Court
Frederick, Maryland
Overheard by: Ren
Purchasing manager: Can I borrow a pencil?
Receptionist: No. If you don’t come prepared, I ain’t helping you.
Kelso Drive
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Nikki
Our sister site has been collected into Overheard in New York, the book. It’s a collection of the hilarious and horrendous material from the site, as well as a bunch of stuff we saved just for the book.
It’s perfect reading for the commute to the office, and a great way to kill time from 9 to 5. You can order it here.
375 Hudson Street
New York, NY
Teacher: Fix the photocopier, it’s not working.
Secretary: What did you do to it?
Teacher: Nothing, it’s just jammed, unjam it.
Secretary: Oh my god, what is that smell…what did you do?
Teacher: Nothing.
Secretary: Did you put transparencies in here? Oh my god, you did! Dude! You can’t do that! They’ll melt! This is a colour photocopier.
Teacher: I wanted colour transparencies.
Secretary: You are so demoted to mimeograph!
557 Church Street
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Area Manager: We will need to open an investigation into this and see what happened.
Superintendent: I’ll tell you what happened: he fucked up!
Area Manager: Well, I didn’t say it needed to be a long investigation.
128 Spring Street
Ypsilanti, Michigan
Cube monkey with web problems on phone to IT: Ugh, I can’t get it up. Get your ass over here — I can’t get it up!
Bristol
England
Overheard by: Mhlanguli
Attorney: Wait until I get into my fecal matter/colon thing.
New York City, New York
Peon: Here, let me do it. My forearms are stronger — I’m not married.
Harmony Avenue
Portage, Indiana
Overheard by: nightmare1970
Female coworker: Can you lend me a screwdriver so I can put this hook on the door?
IT dude: Do you know what you're doing with that?
Female coworker: Are you kidding? I've got a degree in screwing!
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Steph
