Nurse to another: Do you watch the show where all the scientists live together? Oh you don't watch tv at night? That's show's ungodly sinful… But I do like Six Feet Under.

University of Kentucky Hospital
Lexington, Kentucky

Nurse, pointing to birth control questionnaire: Ma’am, I think you answered this question incorrectly.
15-year-old girl: No, that’s right.
Nurse: It asks how long you’ve been with your current partner. You said five minutes.
15-year-old girl: That’s how long it took.

616 Court Street
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Vicky

Nurse: Where are your pants [Tobias]?
AlcoHobo: I must have forgotten to put them on before I left the house.

North Terrace
Adelaide, South Australia

Nurse #1: I love poop!
Nurse #2 to everyone: She's losing it!

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Lauren

Nurse: Is that a paper clip in your hair?
Receptionist: Yeah, I couldn’t find a bobby pin
Nurse: God, you’re such a secretary.

800 East 28th Street
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: killerboots

Two nursing assistants were feeding old men at the home.

Nursing assistant #1: Wow, you’re a really awesome chewer.
Nursing assistant #2: I bet you say that to all the guys.

694 Isaac Prugh Way
Kettering, Ohio

Nurse #1: Well, then what in the hell is the difference between a threesome and a gangbang? Are there specific rules?
Nurse #2: I guess… I tried it with my boyfriend and my roommate once…
Sickly patient: Excuse me… Is my IV supposed to be leaking?

Emergency Room
St. Louis, Missouri

[In the ER.]Nurse #1: Oh my god.
Nurse #2: What?
Nurse #1, looking horrified: I just entered all of these notes on the wrong patient’s file.
Nurse #2: It’s okay. Just go back, delete, and re-enter them for the right patient.
Nurse #1, distressed at herself: But that’s awful! What would have happened?
Nurse #2, shrugging: ‘s’okay, happens all the time.

Beckley, West Virginia

Patient #1 to family member on Skype: Yeah, they're taking real good care of me. (to nurse) Say hi to my sister.
(nurse leans in to computer screen, waves hello)
Family member on Skype: Is he being a good patient?
Patient #2, on other side of curtain: He's cryin' like a little bitch!

Stony Brook Hospital
Long Island, New York

Nurse: People just keep calling me and calling me about getting pain pills called in. They just need to be a little sauced up — then they’d be fine!

14100 Parkway Commons Drive
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma