Aggravated nurse, complaining about slave monitor malfunction: Can someone come help me with this goddamn thing again?
Helpful, tech-savvy male nurse: What's the matter?
Aggravated nurse: My slave is black!
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Speechless, blinking….
Nurse: The patient in Room 39* requested a visit from a Mormon priest.
Chaplain: Really? I’ll have to call one, give me a moment. [Opens notebook] Ah, here we go. [Dials phone, waits] Hi, this is Chaplain Smith* at the hospital. I’m calling about a patient who would like a visit from a Mormon clergy-person. I haven’t visited with the patient, so I don’t know if he is a member of your congregation, but he did specifically request a visit from a Mormon. Feel free to call me back at 555-3418* when you get this message. Thanks. [Hangs up] Well, I left a message on their voicemail. I wonder if the Jehovah’s Witnesses check their messages often.
Nurse: Jehovah’s Witnesses…?
Chaplain: Oh, shit! I called the wrong church!
10 Medical Center Boulevard
Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Overheard by: another witness
Nurse #1: You better grab that. It’s leaning like the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
Nurse #2: Oh, I’ve never been to France.
339 Windermere Road
London, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Amanda
Female nurse, about new netbook: I guess I have to take this little pink thing home and test it out.
Male office manager: Can I watch?
Twin Falls, Idaho
Overheard by: jaekar99
Nurse: Thanks for taking out the trash. I’ve been a nurse for so long I don’t have a sense of smell anymore. You could roll in roadkill and I wouldn’t notice.
15001 Quivira Road
Overland Park, Kansas
Overheard by: Naomi
Nurse to another: Do you watch the show where all the scientists live together? Oh you don't watch tv at night? That's show's ungodly sinful… But I do like Six Feet Under.
University of Kentucky Hospital
Lexington, Kentucky
Nurse, pointing to birth control questionnaire: Ma’am, I think you answered this question incorrectly.
15-year-old girl: No, that’s right.
Nurse: It asks how long you’ve been with your current partner. You said five minutes.
15-year-old girl: That’s how long it took.
616 Court Street
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Vicky
Nurse: Where are your pants [Tobias]?
AlcoHobo: I must have forgotten to put them on before I left the house.
North Terrace
Adelaide, South Australia
Nurse #1: I love poop!
Nurse #2 to everyone: She's losing it!
Hospital
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Lauren
Nurse: Is that a paper clip in your hair?
Receptionist: Yeah, I couldn’t find a bobby pin
Nurse: God, you’re such a secretary.
800 East 28th Street
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: killerboots
