Male employee: So who are some other famous pairs? Tom & Jerry… Bonnie & Clyde… Ren & Stimpy…
Female employee: Your mom and Chuck Norris?
Lawrenceville, New Jersey
Male employee: So who are some other famous pairs? Tom & Jerry… Bonnie & Clyde… Ren & Stimpy…
Female employee: Your mom and Chuck Norris?
Lawrenceville, New Jersey
Coworker: The kung pao chicken had too much pao.
Jersey City, New Jersey
Engineer: Damn, I'm tired. I was up all night with a case of the number threes.
VP: Number threes?
Engineer: You know, when you think you have to go number two, but actually you have to puke in the bathtub.
Paterson, New Jersey
Supervisor to dark-skinned Indian employee: Were you out much this weekend? You are so tan.
473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon
Woman #1: I haven’t had a haircut since my friend died.
Woman #2: Why not?
Woman #1: She used to do my hair for nothing.
Woman #2: Well, it looks like a fucking Brillo pad now. I’d throw some money at your head, and fast!
365 W Passaic Street
Rochelle Park, New Jersey
VP: This is not the correct math.
Director: But I’m applying it consistently.
Normal Avenue
Montclair, New Jersey
VP: What's the name of the company I'm thinking of? We've got a job with them.
Engineer: Starts with…?
VP: A. A something. Aaaaaaa…
Engineer: Ass-fuckers anonymous?
VP, quietly: Ass-fuckers anonymous… Ass…
Engineer: Yeah, AFA, but trust me, it's not that. I just made that up.
VP, very loudly: Ass-fuckers anonymous!?
Engineer: Dude, can you not yell “ass-fuckers anonymous” when I'm in your office?
Paterson, New Jersey
Female CSR #1: Did you get a brownie?
Slightly-larger female CSR: No, I can’t leave my desk and work to get a brownie. That would be brushing off my duties.
Female CSR #1: Well, I’m not a fat person. I wouldn’t know.
473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon
Female suit: This chair is too high. My feet barely touch the floor. I should order a step stool from the Office Supplies Department. Do you have the catalog?
Male suit: They have stool samples in there?
3 2nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Worker bee to another: Did you hear our children are going to be the first generation to be stupider than their parents?
Pharmaceutical company
New Jersey
Overheard by: Intern
