1PM Lunch

Worker #1: Did you know that Big Lots closed all of its furniture stores down? It was no IKEA but it sure had a few nice things in there. Damn I am full of gas this afternoon.
Worker #2: I didn’t know they had furniture stores…
Worker #1: Yeah…They have surely came a long way since I was a kid. They always had like the crappiest food stuff. They are a close-out store, right?
Worker #2: I didn’t know they had food.
Worker #1: Well, not food food, but like cereal.
Worker #2: Oh, shelf food. Yeah.
Worker #1: Yeah..I would totally not buy discontinued bananas. That’s just rank.

1 Easton Oval
Columbus, Ohio

Posted on April 5, 2020
Coworkers, General Idiocy, Gripes, Meals and Snacks, Ohio

And Don't Think I Didn't See You Kissing My Boyfriend Under the Football Bleachers!

Boss: I think I'll have a sandwich now.
Employee: Okay, cool.
Boss: What's cool about that?
Employee: Nothing.
Boss: Why'd you say it then?
Employee: You're so difficult!
Boss: No, you're difficult!

New Zealand

Overheard by: Schmitty

Posted on March 31, 2020
Bosses, Employees, Meals and Snacks, New Zealand, Questions

…And Help Me Swipe Wallets.

Woman to child: Some people are just wicked. Put that pumpkin back.

Wal-Mart
Aberdeen, Washington

Posted on March 24, 2020
Crimes, Family, Family members, Kids, Meals and Snacks, Parents, Washington

The “Big Jew” Coffee Mug Didn’t Tip You Off?

Employee at microwave: You know those meatballs have meat in them?
Microwaving employee: Right? Hence, meatballs.
Employee at microwave: Don’t you know the day?
Microwaving employee: Sure, it is Friday all day.
Employee at microwave: Well, it’s Lent, too.
Microwaving employee: You don’t say… Seeing as how I am a big Jew we don’t celebrate that.

Tinley Park, Illinois

Posted on March 22, 2020
Coworkers, Default, Employees, Holidays, Illinois, Meals and Snacks, Questions, Religion

Finally Something Will Be Sucking Besides Your Grades

Teacher to students, in creepy deep voice: Want a lollipop? I have many flavors!

Sydney
Australia

Posted on March 21, 2020
Australia, Body Parts, Meals and Snacks, Offers and requests, Sexuality, Students, Teachers

2027: JetBlue Loses Brian’s Body

Defiant executive: I busted up a funeral procession on my way back from lunch. Can’t wait for that karma.

Wausau, Wisconsin

Posted on March 17, 2020
Death, Default, Executives, Meals and Snacks, Weirdness, Wisconsin

Just Another Day at the Ancient Joke Recycling Company

Worker chick, looking at something on floor: What is that?
Worker guy #1: Oh, that’s a… crab.
Worker chick: We have crabs?
Worker guy #1: Yeah, I see them in the parking lot, too!
Worker guy #2: Soup!

Cypress and Westshore
Tampa, Florida

Overheard by: wish I had protection…

Posted on March 1, 2020
Coworkers, Florida, Meals and Snacks

Gregor Samsa's Daughter Suffers from Low Self-Esteem

Office lady #1: As soon as you put out cookies or candy or whatever, people around here descend on it. They're like cockroaches.
Office lady #2, eating free candy: Oh, thank you very much! I'm a cockroach, am I?
Office lady #1: Fine. It's like magic, okay?
Office lady #2: Magical cockroaches?
Office lady #1: Magical cockroaches.
Office lady #2: Well, it's good to know that at least I'm a magical cockroach.

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Posted on February 29, 2020
Animals, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Meals and Snacks, New York, Weirdness

No One Has Problems Like I Do!

Office worker #1: I'm so damn hungry, I need real food.
Office worker #2: Yeah, I can imagine that liquid diet wouldn't be too filling or satisfying.
Office worker #2: I feel like I'm an African refugee.

Chantilly, Virginia

Posted on February 26, 2020
Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Diet & Weight, Feelings, Meals and Snacks, Virginia

1PM Lunch

Doctor #1: I always say, “Carrots are like sandpaper for the colon.”
Doctor #2: Yeah, see, most people I know just eat them.

1500 East Medical Center Drive
Ann Arbor, Michigan

Posted on February 20, 2020
Comebacks, Doctors, Health & Hygiene, Meals and Snacks, Michigan

Meals and Snacks

Gregor Samsa's Daughter Suffers from Low Self-Esteem