Student teacher: So, what is your school’s policy concerning sodas? Am I allowed to bring them as long as they are in an unmarked container?
Teacher: Yes, most definitely. Some of the other schools in the area have taken out their drink machines for teachers, but our principal’s a Coke addict.
4858 Lead Mine Road
Snowville, Virginia
Power broker #1: Two large cappuccinos.
Cashier: Thank you. That will be $4.50.
Power broker #1: Where’s the cinnamon?
Cashier: I’m sorry, we’re out of cinnamon.
Power broker #1: Then I don’t want it!
Cashier: Excuse me?
Power broker #2: Okay, let’s just bring it back to the office.
Power broker #1: No! Just give me my money back. I can’t drink the foamy milk without the cinnamon.
100 Broadway
New York, New York
Overheard by: Mark
Secretary: The mailman was supposed to come back today, but I haven’t seen him yet.
Agent: Which mailman was it? The old guy, or the nerdy guy with the glasses?
Secretary: No, it was an Asian guy.
Agent: Oh. He’s probably having lunch again.
1610 SE Bybee Boulevard
Portland, Orgeon
Programming #1: I totally didn’t realize he was holding a bong.
Programming #2: That explains why the smores thing was funny.
11951 Freedom Drive
Reston, Virginia
Sales rep on cell: I hope it's not your spleen! Okay, gotta go, Chinese food is here.
Newton, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Well they DO make great orange chicken…
Guy engineer #1: Hey, want a muffin?
Guy engineer #2: Dude, you’re my muffin.
Guy engineer #1, in small voice: I feel uncomfortable now.
E. County Road
Wellington, Colorado
Indignant office girl: So she was like “and I'm going to so-and-so cafe and I'm eatin' so-and-so…”
Nashville, Tennessee
Coworker #1: I wasn't that drunk by that point. I mean, I was sober enough to realize that they were branding each other's asses with Christmas cookie cutters.
Boss: Sure…
Coworker #1: No, legit. Sticking the cookie cutters in the fire and branding each other's asses.
Coworker #2: Can you imagine shacking up with someone with an inverted Christmas pointing right to your pooper?
Hicksville, New York
Overheard by: Traumatized
(toilet, stall to the left)
Coworker: Corn? Corn? When did I have corn?
Harrisburg , Pennsylvania
Overheard by: in between stalls
Coworker #1: I feel so bad for them.
Coworker #2: I know, their son is in a coma and only has 30% of his brain working. He's a vegetarian.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Can't believe no one else heard that
