Secretary: The mailman was supposed to come back today, but I haven’t seen him yet.
Agent: Which mailman was it? The old guy, or the nerdy guy with the glasses?
Secretary: No, it was an Asian guy.
Agent: Oh. He’s probably having lunch again.
1610 SE Bybee Boulevard
Portland, Orgeon
Programming #1: I totally didn’t realize he was holding a bong.
Programming #2: That explains why the smores thing was funny.
11951 Freedom Drive
Reston, Virginia
Sales rep on cell: I hope it's not your spleen! Okay, gotta go, Chinese food is here.
Newton, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Well they DO make great orange chicken…
Guy engineer #1: Hey, want a muffin?
Guy engineer #2: Dude, you’re my muffin.
Guy engineer #1, in small voice: I feel uncomfortable now.
E. County Road
Wellington, Colorado
Indignant office girl: So she was like “and I'm going to so-and-so cafe and I'm eatin' so-and-so…”
Nashville, Tennessee
Coworker #1: I wasn't that drunk by that point. I mean, I was sober enough to realize that they were branding each other's asses with Christmas cookie cutters.
Boss: Sure…
Coworker #1: No, legit. Sticking the cookie cutters in the fire and branding each other's asses.
Coworker #2: Can you imagine shacking up with someone with an inverted Christmas pointing right to your pooper?
Hicksville, New York
Overheard by: Traumatized
(toilet, stall to the left)
Coworker: Corn? Corn? When did I have corn?
Harrisburg , Pennsylvania
Overheard by: in between stalls
Coworker #1: I feel so bad for them.
Coworker #2: I know, their son is in a coma and only has 30% of his brain working. He's a vegetarian.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Can't believe no one else heard that
Cube dweller #1: There's one bagel left.
Cube dweller #2: I think that's the one that was on the floor.
Cube dweller #3: No, I ate that one.
Jersey City, New Jersey
Temp #1: Are you drinking hot water?
Temp #2: With some lemon, yeah. Why?
Temp #1: Doesn't hot water make you have to crap?
Temp #2: What?
Temp #1: Hot water makes my grandmother have to crap.
Temp #2: What?
Nashville, Tennessee
