Meals and Snacks

Lady cube rat: I like sucking bones.
Male cube rat: I know! I said, ‘Come on, Chris, suck that bone!’ We all laughed.
Lady cube rat: The marrow is the best part.

1771 North Street NW
Washington, DC

Overheard by: I still don’t want to know

Greasy suit as his chili is served: … And that’s exactly why I go in to get colonics.

Skyline Chili
Cincinnati, Ohio

Heavy lady #1: God, I’m on this new diet, and I’m having a hard time staying on it.
Heavy lady #2: Is it the soup diet?
Heavy lady #1: Yeah… All I’ve had to eat today was a half bowl of soup.
Heavy lady #2: Did you eat the banana yet?
Heavy lady #1: No, I tried. I don’t really like bananas.

504 Lavaca Street
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: GangerBanger

Project manager: She came by for a donut this morning, and I forgot to nail her then.

Las Colinas, Texas

Psychiatric nurse, to rest of treatment team, about patient who almost choked: You know Mark*, he sees a big piece of meat, he just puts the whole thing in his mouth.

Catawba, Virginia

Female worker bee: Next time I make popcorn, I’m putting it in my pants.

Columbus Avenue
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia

Manager: Why does it smell like salami in here?
Tech: I ran out of milk, so I had to have salami for breakfast.
Manager: Uhh…what?

Louisville, Kentucky

Overheard by: fleeing from the salami stench

Manager: Ben*, do you want a badly made sandwich?
Employee: How badly made?
Manager: Badly.
Employee: Yeah!

Hemel Hempstead
UK

Overheard by: I’m fine thanks

Worker bee: Well… That’s the last time I put fiber powder on my macaroni and cheese.

Halifax, Nova Scotia
Canadia

Female employee #1: I saw your muffin and I was tempted to eat it.
Female employee #2: I thought somebody already ate my muffin.
Female employee #1: No, it's still there… See? Uneaten.
Female employee #3, laughing: Yeah, I think she'd know if somebody ate her muffin.

Marlborough, Massachusetts