Female employee #1: I saw your muffin and I was tempted to eat it.
Female employee #2: I thought somebody already ate my muffin.
Female employee #1: No, it's still there… See? Uneaten.
Female employee #3, laughing: Yeah, I think she'd know if somebody ate her muffin.
Marlborough, Massachusetts
Coworker, looking for food: Can I go through your drawers and find something to snack on?
Englewood, Colorado
Postal employee: I'm about ready to eat the butthole of a cow.
Post Office
Michigan
Boss: The incentive this month is: the person with the most accounts will get a steak dinner on me. And you can bring your boyfriend or girlfriend or whatever, you don't have to eat alone, I'll pay for them too.
Female sales rep: What if I have like eight boyfriends?
Boss: Well, then you're a whore. I don't know what else to tell you.
Charlotte, North Carolina
Professional woman: I work out at lunch everyday, it’s part of my routine.
Professional man: Wow, you really have some testical fortitude to stick to that routine.
Woman: What?
One Shell Plaza Elevator
Houston, Texas
Intern #1: Can I try your sandwich?
Intern #2: Let me think about it for…no. Friendship, food: two very different things.
136 Tooley Street
London, England
Overheard by: Jessica Reed
Staff #1: Does anyone know what that sign refers to?
Senior Associate: Which one?
Staff #1: The one that says “2121 Lunch E On”.
Staff #2: Did you just say “Lunch E On”?
Staff #1: Well, what does it say?
2345 Crystal Drive
Arlington, Virginia
Overheard by: Ten Kay
Sandwich artist: What kind of sandwich do you want?
Guy: I’m a vegetarian, so I want the veggie sub.
Sandwich artist: What items do you want on it?
Guy: Everything in the picture… And throw some chicken on there.
Sandwich artist: You can’t have chicken on that! Chicken is meat!
Guy: Chicken ain’t meat! Just put it on there!
Subway
Charlotte, North Carolina
Student teacher: So, what is your school’s policy concerning sodas? Am I allowed to bring them as long as they are in an unmarked container?
Teacher: Yes, most definitely. Some of the other schools in the area have taken out their drink machines for teachers, but our principal’s a Coke addict.
4858 Lead Mine Road
Snowville, Virginia
Power broker #1: Two large cappuccinos.
Cashier: Thank you. That will be $4.50.
Power broker #1: Where’s the cinnamon?
Cashier: I’m sorry, we’re out of cinnamon.
Power broker #1: Then I don’t want it!
Cashier: Excuse me?
Power broker #2: Okay, let’s just bring it back to the office.
Power broker #1: No! Just give me my money back. I can’t drink the foamy milk without the cinnamon.
100 Broadway
New York, New York
Overheard by: Mark
