Heavy lady #1: God, I’m on this new diet, and I’m having a hard time staying on it.
Heavy lady #2: Is it the soup diet?
Heavy lady #1: Yeah… All I’ve had to eat today was a half bowl of soup.
Heavy lady #2: Did you eat the banana yet?
Heavy lady #1: No, I tried. I don’t really like bananas.
504 Lavaca Street
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: GangerBanger
Project manager: She came by for a donut this morning, and I forgot to nail her then.
Las Colinas, Texas
Psychiatric nurse, to rest of treatment team, about patient who almost choked: You know Mark*, he sees a big piece of meat, he just puts the whole thing in his mouth.
Catawba, Virginia
Female worker bee: Next time I make popcorn, I’m putting it in my pants.
Columbus Avenue
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Manager: Why does it smell like salami in here?
Tech: I ran out of milk, so I had to have salami for breakfast.
Manager: Uhh…what?
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: fleeing from the salami stench
Manager: Ben*, do you want a badly made sandwich?
Employee: How badly made?
Manager: Badly.
Employee: Yeah!
Hemel Hempstead
UK
Overheard by: I’m fine thanks
Worker bee: Well… That’s the last time I put fiber powder on my macaroni and cheese.
Halifax, Nova Scotia
Canadia
Female employee #1: I saw your muffin and I was tempted to eat it.
Female employee #2: I thought somebody already ate my muffin.
Female employee #1: No, it's still there… See? Uneaten.
Female employee #3, laughing: Yeah, I think she'd know if somebody ate her muffin.
Marlborough, Massachusetts
Coworker, looking for food: Can I go through your drawers and find something to snack on?
Englewood, Colorado
Postal employee: I'm about ready to eat the butthole of a cow.
Post Office
Michigan
