Female employee: You've never had Krispy Kreme donuts?
Male employee: Nope.
Female employee: Ohh. They are so good!
Male employee: Really?
Female employee: Yeah, they're better than sex!
Male employee: Hmm. You must be doing it wrong.
Centerville, Utah
Office drone: I'm going to go home, snuggle into bed, and eat pudding until I throw up. Then I'll feel better.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: He had a big bag of Valhrona pudding, too.
Cube rat: You know, every time I eat something tiny like a nut or a seed I feel like a monkey.
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: mego
Lady cube rat: I like sucking bones.
Male cube rat: I know! I said, ‘Come on, Chris, suck that bone!’ We all laughed.
Lady cube rat: The marrow is the best part.
1771 North Street NW
Washington, DC
Overheard by: I still don’t want to know
Greasy suit as his chili is served: … And that’s exactly why I go in to get colonics.
Skyline Chili
Cincinnati, Ohio
Heavy lady #1: God, I’m on this new diet, and I’m having a hard time staying on it.
Heavy lady #2: Is it the soup diet?
Heavy lady #1: Yeah… All I’ve had to eat today was a half bowl of soup.
Heavy lady #2: Did you eat the banana yet?
Heavy lady #1: No, I tried. I don’t really like bananas.
504 Lavaca Street
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: GangerBanger
Project manager: She came by for a donut this morning, and I forgot to nail her then.
Las Colinas, Texas
Psychiatric nurse, to rest of treatment team, about patient who almost choked: You know Mark*, he sees a big piece of meat, he just puts the whole thing in his mouth.
Catawba, Virginia
Female worker bee: Next time I make popcorn, I’m putting it in my pants.
Columbus Avenue
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Manager: Why does it smell like salami in here?
Tech: I ran out of milk, so I had to have salami for breakfast.
Manager: Uhh…what?
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: fleeing from the salami stench
