Teacher: Just pretend it's Russian and nail it.
Bowling Green, Ohio
Teacher: Just pretend it's Russian and nail it.
Bowling Green, Ohio
Marketing drone: There is an island near New Guinea where all the animals are small. There is a pygmy puma that survives on moths.
(silence from marketing room)
Marketing drone: Moths!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Sumi
Coworker #1: We should have a race to see who can put the windows in faster!
Coworker #2: Wait, does anyone even know how to put windows in?
Coworker #3, making inappropriate hand motions: I do! You just put it in the hole and nail it!
Pekin, Illinois
Girl #1: I hate our supervisor and her stupid flicky long hair.
Girl #2: I just want to go up to her and just cut her hair off.
Guy: I just want to cut her throat.
Girl #1: I would love to do that, but it's illegal.
Guy: So would cutting her hair, unless you were her hairdresser.
Girl #2: I can just see it now?
Guy: When you go to court?
Girl: When I cut her hair, I was actually aiming for her throat, for this, your honor, I am…
Together: Extremely sorry.
Sydney
Australia
Coworker: What was I just talking about? I lost my train of thought. I can't remember… so it was probably a lie.
Avon, Colorado
Coworker to another: Shut up, at least my husband lies to me!
Waco, Texas
Overheard by: Chris
Manager: Sarah*, why do you have all of those little baggies at your desk?
Sarah: Because you never know when someone will need one, or when we have those potlucks and people want to take things home, or try someone else's dish, or take it home to their kids…
Manager: Sarah, are you sure you're not dealing?
Sarah: Well, maybe I should…I do have a scale at my desk…
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: I'll buy some
Counselor: Oh, I read about a blind couple that sailed to Australia without any assistance!
Secretary: They think it's Australia. Their kids just pulled them around the harbor for a few days, and took them to outback.
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Sandy Paws
Creative director: You're making that up!
HR lady: I am not!
Creative director: Why would you want to be friends with that guy? He wanted to name a flower after you!
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Hot secretary #1: I think if you push “release,” the call goes away.
Hot secretary #2: I wish I had a “release” button… then I might not have to fake it with my boyfriend.
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: JDeez
