Insults

Female coworker #1: Ohmigod, my plant's dead…
Female coworker #2: I can't believe you whined and complained for months about how you didn't get a “new hire plant” like everyone else, and when you get one… a week later it's dead because you don't water it.
Female coworker #3: I heard all these plants are responsibility tests. If you kill the plant, you're gone.
Boss over intercom to coworker #1: Report to my office immediately.
Female coworker #2: He knows about the plant.
Female coworker #1: Fuck.

McKinney, Texas

Male Student #1: Yeah, and he wouldn't even look at me in the shower.
Male Student #2: What the fuck's his problem?

Chicago, Illinois

Male coworker to female supervisor: Sorry about your son.
Female supervisor: He's a wimp!

San Diego, California

Overheard by: Neighbor with headphones on

Employee: My hand is starting to tingle. It might be carpal tunnel.
Boss: Stop being a little bitch.

Financial Firm
Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Michael

Graphic designer: Ah, shut up, midget mother.
Ad sales girl: What? “Midget mother”? What the fuck does that mean?
Graphic designer: Your mother's a midget.

Scranton, Pennsylvania

Coworker #1: There was a barn fire just outside of town. The whole barn was destroyed. The farmer was missing at first, but they found his remains in the barn. They are sending the remains to Toronto to figure out the cause of death.
Coworker #2: Burnt.
Coworker #1: Excuse me?
Coworker #2: Burnt.
Coworker #1: You are a sick fuck, know that?

Waterloo
Canadia

Overheard by: Meesh

Studio exec #1: Do pregnancy tests come in that big of a box?
Studio exec #2: You know… when you buy your pregnancy tests at Costco, you're a huge slut!

Santa Monica, California

Project manager: I'm going to find out who sold that piece, and I'm going to chew their ass!

Boulder, Colorado

Overheard by: skelly

Coworker: They say Micheal Phelps is a good swimmer, but I say screw that, we're all great swimmers! Do you know how far that was to swim? And then you get there and you have to bust through a zygote head first! That takes stamina!

Branchburg, New Jersey

Secretary #1: It's Friday, everybody!
Secretary #2: Shut up.
Secretary #1: Fuck you!
Secretary #2: I love you!
(both giggle)

New York City, New York