Insults

Actually, That’s What Happened to My Ankles

Sales guy: How can you sit like that? It’s disgusting.
Information specialist: I have weak ankles. I’m sorry I disgust you.
Sales guy: You don’t disgust me, just the way you sit. Besides, you’re always making fun of my women.
Information specialist: Say, do you have one of those auto-lifts in your bedroom?
Sales guy: I see what you’re saying. Because I like big women.
Information specialist: I mean, in case you get pinned or something.
Sales guy: Funny thing is, I know how to maneuver one of those, from a previous job.
Information specialist: I’ll take that as a yes.

Washington DC

10AM Coffee and Sudoku Break

Writer: All I really want in this life is to be able to solve a sudoku, just once. Without giving up halfway through.
Designer: Way to aim low.
Writer: Well…can I be honest? What I really want is to be better than you at sudoku.
Designer: That may be aiming too high. Let’s be realistic, at least.

16430 N Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, Arizona

Overheard by: Miel Durand

Pirates, Duh

CEO, to no one in particular: So we're talking to this fucking prick up in Alaska, and I keep hearing this whistling. So I say “hey man, what the fuck is that noise? Turns out it's his fucking parrot, so I tell him to kill the fucker. Who has parrots?

Portland, Oregon

5PM That’s a Wrap

CSR: This is my senior picture in high school.
Manager: You were a cheerleader?
CSR: Yeah.
Manager: What happened?

730 International Parkway
Richardson, Texas

Overheard by: El Gee

If You’re Typing That, Don’t Send It Right Away

Coworker in response to email she just got: Oh my god, Sandy*, you stupid whore.

Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: other side of the cube

Just Before the Office Exploded

IT guy #1: Is that you beeping?
IT guy #2: No, I thought it was you.
IT guy #3: Fucking things, stop beeping!

Palmerston North
New Zealand

Touche.

Boss to coworker #1: You know, you have quite the filthy mouth! Filthy, filthy!
Coworker #2 to boss: Like you don't!
Boss to coworker #2: Fuck you!

Bethlehem, Pennsylvania

Gynecologists Can Get Rather Proprietary

Tech guy on phone: It doesn't work? You let Jeff touch it?! You let Darth Moron touch it!

Time Warner Cable Offices
New York

What’s Wrong with Your Tact?

Nurse #1: Oh my god, what’s wrong with your face?!
Nurse #2: Um… Nothing.
Nurse #1: … Oh.

Kansas

Overheard by: Princess Consuela Banana Hammock

“Your Directory” Is Her Nickname for the Dumpster Out Back

Office manager: Could you save this file somewhere in the system, please?
Receptionist: Where?
Office manager: Well, save it somewhere so that I could find it easily.
Receptionist, when manager leaves: Sure, bitch, I will do it, but don’t ask me if you can’t find it.
Office manager, returning: Excuse me?
Receptionist: Uh… I just said that I will save it in your directory, ma’am.

1250 Broadway
New York, New York

Overheard by: jullylully

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