College professor: I feel like giving them an “e” for effort. Of course we all know that an “e” is right above an “f” for “fucking stupid” and right below the “d” for “dang near fucking stupid.”
Emporia, Kansas
College professor: I feel like giving them an “e” for effort. Of course we all know that an “e” is right above an “f” for “fucking stupid” and right below the “d” for “dang near fucking stupid.”
Emporia, Kansas
Cube rat #1: Damn, you had braces for seven years and your teeth are still that fucked up?
Cube rat #2: Yeah? You’ve been on a diet for two years and your ass is still that fat?
Trenton, New Jersey
CEO to purchasing manager: People are getting stupider. I can't sell fast enough to cover how much money they're wasting. Pay me to sit around and jerk off for eight hours, I'd do a much better job.
Orlando, Florida
Kind supervisor: I just wanted to ask you to lower your voice a little bit. You must have gotten some good news on the phone, but you were a little rambunctious with the language. I think you said (whispering) “shit” three times during that call.
Embarrassed secretary: You ask so little of me, and I still can't do it. I mean, who has to tell a grown woman not to yell “shit” in a crowded office?
Government Office
Tampa, Florida
Employee #1: Stop saying things like that! There are clients in here!
Employee #2: All I said was “r”!
Employee #1: Yeah, but you said it really loud. And like a pirate!
Lake Forest, California
Overheard by: Suzanne
Manager: Man, I hate that rep. Only he has the power to permeate every fiber of my being with his earnest, sniveling, annoying little voice. “I’m sorry.” “Would you mind?” “Is it a problem?” Grow some balls, freak show!
105 Avenue O
Brooklyn, New York
Cabbie yelling out window to guy who cut him off: Your mother is a puta! Your mother is a puta! Your mother is a puta! Your mother is a puta! [Gets out at red light, walks to offender’s car, points his butt at and simulates farting on the car, then gets back into cab and yells out window again.] You have no pee-pee! You have no pee-pee! You have no pee-pee! You have no pee-pee!
Outside White Plains train station
New York
Overheard by: ccampoll
Co-worker #1: So the new governor of New York is legally blind!
Co-worker #2: Yeah, and he’s black. And he’s something else too… Blind, black… And… What else?
Co-worker #3: What else is there?
Burlington, Massachusetts
Recent business school grad: You know, working for this company is not for the weak of heart. There is not a lot of recognition handed out to people.
Senior executive: Recognition? You want recognition? You are a dumbass. How’s that?
Niagara-on-the-Lake, Ontario
Canadia
Sales guy: You know how those lesbian Jews can be! The only thing worse than a lesbian Jew is a lesbian Jew attorney! And I know that, so I can say it.
Glenlake Parkway
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: almost offended… almost
