VP: This’ll be the director’s Easter present to you.
Coordinator: Oh, you mean I don’t get any eggs this year?
VP: No, you don’t.
Coordinator: Well, can you at least hide it so I can find it?
VP: Yes, we can do that.
900 Simpson Street
St. Paul, Minnesota
Engineer: So, did you enjoy your Cinco de Mayo?
Secretary: Um. I was in Rhode Island for the weekend…
Engineer: Yeah, so?
Secretary: Ever been?
Engineer: Yeah, couple of times… what’s your point?
Secretary: Heh. Rhode Island is like the white-bread capital, at least the part where I go is.
Engineer: Okaayyy… so there was no Cinco de Mayo celebration?
Secretary: Dude, lemme put it this way for ya: It’s so damn white up there, they have white gardeners. Mexicans are like freakin’ nonexistant up there. And don’t even get me started on the nonexistance of black people. Hell, the last time I saw a black person while I was up there was the one we brought with us. . .and she kept singin’ “Massa got me workin'” just to freak the rest of the whities out.
One Penn Plaza
New York, New York
Overheard by: *snicker*
Assistant, about the company holiday party: Shit, I didn’t even know where I was! I had the best time!
Beverly Boulevard and Fairfax Avenue
West Hollywood, California
Pudgy guy in lift: A six-week holiday tells you just how much you hate your job.
Female colleague: So, what are you going to do? Get out of here?
Pudgy guy: Well, I can't do anything else… I could go back to geology.
New South Wales
Australia
Co-worker #1: So, do you get Columbus Day off from school?
Co-worker #2: No, we only get holidays for black people and Jesus.
6101 Broadway Street
San Antonio, Texas
Overheard by: Salena Arledge
(long past June)
Receptionist: I haven't opened all my Christmas gifts yet. I just haven't had time.
Washington Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Coworker: I brought a warmer coat because the Christmas party is today, and I might wind up in an alley.
Government Office
Washington, DC
CSM, on holiday preparations: My family makes me want to smuggle drugs in my ass.
Hailey, Idaho
Loud, annoying girl on phone trying to sound important: No, no, no! We can't do April 22nd, we're closed for black Friday!
Manhattan, New York
Recruit: This friend of mine is having a party Sunday. I can’t decide whether or not to go.
Coworker: Why wouldn’t you?
Recruit: It’s in honor of Martin Luther King, Junior.
Coworker: What’s wrong with that?
Recruit: Well, it’s a lingerie party.
Coworker: Oh…
13th Street and Peachtree Street
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: I have a dream
