Associate #1: I've been planning to do that when I get a day off.
Associate #2: Ok… So when do you get off?
Law Firm
Johannesburg
South Africa
Overheard by: Luke Wolfson
Associate #1: I've been planning to do that when I get a day off.
Associate #2: Ok… So when do you get off?
Law Firm
Johannesburg
South Africa
Overheard by: Luke Wolfson
Co-worker: Ugh! Easter’s on a Sunday this year!
6300 West Loop Freeway S
Bellaire, Texas
White male caseworker, over cubicle wall: We have off Monday?
Female caseworker: Yes, ma?am!
White male caseworker: Hey!
Female caseworker: Oh, sorry. I thought you were a black woman with a really deep voice!
Norristown, Pennsylvania
Coworker to another: How was your weekend?
Another: Not good, we lost another pet. The rabbit was murdered by a sheep.
New Zealand
Overheard by: George
Guy #1: So, what did you get her for Christmas?
Guy #2: Oh, man, she’s gonna love it — I got her a padded toilet seat!
Guy #1: Cool.
Lime Ridge Mall, 999 Upper Wentworth Street
Hamilton, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: laughing myself stupid
Cubicle #1: Oh no, today is Tuesday the 13th! Does that mean anything?
Cubicle #2: Umm… Today is the 12th. Tomorrow is the 13th. And humpday!
Cubicle #1: Oh no! Wednesday the 13th! Does that mean anything?
Cubicle #2: Well, it’s the day before Valentine’s Day. You got your wife something already, right?
Cubicle #1: Dang! I better think of something quick, right?
Cubicle #2: You haven’t gotten a card or anything?
Cubicle #1: Well, I did actually get her a gift. But I opened up my trunk yesterday and it smelled funny so I took it back.
Cubicle #2: … It wasn’t a puppy, was it?
England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Co-worker #1: I heard that the wood plant is going to take a floating holiday and shut down for opening day of hunting season.
Co-worker #2: Yeah, kind of like IT’s unofficial holiday for opening day of Star Wars.
901 44th Street SE
Grand Rapids, Michigan
VP: This’ll be the director’s Easter present to you.
Coordinator: Oh, you mean I don’t get any eggs this year?
VP: No, you don’t.
Coordinator: Well, can you at least hide it so I can find it?
VP: Yes, we can do that.
900 Simpson Street
St. Paul, Minnesota
Engineer: So, did you enjoy your Cinco de Mayo?
Secretary: Um. I was in Rhode Island for the weekend…
Engineer: Yeah, so?
Secretary: Ever been?
Engineer: Yeah, couple of times… what’s your point?
Secretary: Heh. Rhode Island is like the white-bread capital, at least the part where I go is.
Engineer: Okaayyy… so there was no Cinco de Mayo celebration?
Secretary: Dude, lemme put it this way for ya: It’s so damn white up there, they have white gardeners. Mexicans are like freakin’ nonexistant up there. And don’t even get me started on the nonexistance of black people. Hell, the last time I saw a black person while I was up there was the one we brought with us. . .and she kept singin’ “Massa got me workin'” just to freak the rest of the whities out.
One Penn Plaza
New York, New York
Overheard by: *snicker*
Assistant, about the company holiday party: Shit, I didn’t even know where I was! I had the best time!
Beverly Boulevard and Fairfax Avenue
West Hollywood, California
