50-something American manager: So you're going to Disney World on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, and coming back Sunday? Have you see our airports when they're busy?
20-something Indian consultant: Have you seen our trains, anytime?
Wayne, New Jersey
Lawyer: Did you hear about Vanessa*?
Secretary: No. What about her?
Lawyer: Yeah, poor Vanessa. She woke up dead on July 4th.
Broad Street
Louisville, Georgia
Female sales exec: Did you get that e-mail I sent you?
Male sales exec: Yeah.
Female sales exec: What’d you think?
Male sales exec: I’d give it a 90 percent.
Female sales exec: What made you take 10 off?
Male sales exec: It didn’t say anything about Jesus being the savior. I mean, that’s why we celebrate Christmas. You can’t have Christmas without Easter.
Female sales exec: Oh.
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: So I can’t call it Xmas?
Customer: You did a wonderful job on your Christmas tree!
Boss: Actually, my staff did all the work.
Staff #1: No, you set the tree up.
Boss: Yes, but you added some ornaments.
Staff #1: Only a few, but I fluffed up the branches so I guess I’m the office fluffer.
Cleveland, Ohio
Designer #1: Hey Susan*, did you have a traditional Pearl Harbor celebration?
Designer #2: Yes, I did. I–
Designer #1, interrupting: –Did you make airplane noises on the drive home?
495 Union Avenue
Memphis, Tennessee
Overheard by: one cubicle over
Receptionist: I found out that I can't go to Disney World because I have a paper due that week and I don't want to miss 100 points.
Boss (who is rather overweight and old): That is really too bad but I mean, I'll go in your place.
Receptionist: Only if you get Mickey Mouse ears and go to the castle and have dinner with the princesses.
Boss: Sure. I'll be the best fucking princess those bitches have ever seen!
Bellingham, Washington
Coworker #1: Can you do me a favor?
Coworker #2: Depends. What is it?
Coworker #1: Can you use your vagina to get me a day off?
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: Liz
Gay coworker: I don’t dress up for Halloween, it’s against my religion!
Straight coworker: Oh, is that the same religion you consulted when choosing your sexuality?
Dublin, Ohio
Overheard by: Stoopid like a fox
Worker #1: [Sneezes.][Several moments pass.]Worker #2: Oh… Bless you.
Worker #1: Thanks, Merry Christmas.
Los Angeles, California
Batty old receptionist to worker: So what did you do over Thanksgiving weekend?
Worker: Oh, I delivered twins!
Batty old receptionist: Okay…
Worker: I'm a Big Sister with Big Brothers/Big Sisters, and my little sister got pregnant. Guess that means I'm not such a good Big Sister…
Beverly Hills, California
