Office drone to coworker: She had a very busy weekend, but what she was most excited about was the sausage party!

Chicago, Illinois

Coworker to assistant: Do Christians celebrate Christmas?

Phoenix, Arizona

Secretary, getting off business phone call: I don't have time to work with all of this… I need to be planning my Easter dinner.

Kansas City, Missouri

Overheard by: work always gets in the way

Employee at microwave: You know those meatballs have meat in them?
Microwaving employee: Right? Hence, meatballs.
Employee at microwave: Don’t you know the day?
Microwaving employee: Sure, it is Friday all day.
Employee at microwave: Well, it’s Lent, too.
Microwaving employee: You don’t say… Seeing as how I am a big Jew we don’t celebrate that.

Tinley Park, Illinois

Boss on phone: Hey, uh, I booked a vacation with you guys and pre-paid and everything, and uh, well, (pause) I don't really know how to say this, but uh, I did some things… You know, uh-uh-uh, things you do when you are on vacation, uh-uh-uh-uh-uh… and… uh, well I overslept and missed my flight back home, so I had to buy another airline ticket and want to know if I can get some of my money back.

Richmond, Virginia

Receptionist: I’m sorry sir, no one at the tower can answer your call right now, there is a quartet singing a valentine on the floor. [pause] No sir, I wouldn’t lie about such a thing.

N. Frontage Road
Jackson, Mississippi

Serious boss: Tom*, we need to discuss the appropriate use of inflatable novelties at the beach.

Richmond, Virginia

Overheard by: Last day at work

Professor: So we'll have lab meeting on Monday, then.
Grad student: Um, that's Labor Day, so people will probably be away.
Professor: Away? Why?
Grad student: Because it's a federal holiday?
Professor: Well, we're not federal, so we don't take federal holidays.

Johns Hopkins University
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: LabCat

30-something girl to male co-worker: It’s always Christmas in your trash can.

St. Louis, Missouri

Overheard by: Angela

(scientist gets in a packed elevator)
Scientist: I can’t believe it’s this busy the day before Thanksgiving.
Secretary: Surprisingly.
Scientist: I said: “I can’t believe it’s this busy!” It’s the day before Thanksgiving!
Tech: It’s actually two days from Thanksgiving.
Scientist: I’m going to go home and make my turkey tonight. Have it ready for the family!
Suit: What a good idea. You should make the stuffing with it, save time.
(scientist smiles, gets off)
Tech: That wasn’t nice.
Suit: He farted while in an elevator, I don’t care.

Extremely Small Elevator
Research Triangle Park, North Carolina