Front desk agent #1, entering bathroom: What are you girls doing? We have a line of guests!
Front desk agent #2: I'm trying to poop and can't concentrate because of her poop problem.
Front desk agent #3: I'm not responsible if she dies, I warned her from the beginning.
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: LasVegas
Guy on cell in building lobby: Yeah, I googled it, and you can buy straitjackets online.
Portland, Maine
Overheard by: Jennifer
Receptionist on phone: I'll be shorter than a midget on his knees!
Washington Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Coworker: Just to let you know, I need to leave at noon today because I have a leak.
Office manager: That sounds like a personal problem.
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Menopausal admin to cube farm: I'm late for my mammogram appointment… If anybody needs me, that's where I'll be.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Minding my own
Sales rep: The one thing I did not understand about that movie The Passion of The Christ is, if Christ came back from the dead… How did he die the second time?
Catholic manager: Ever hear of the Nicene creed?
Sales rep: No.
Catholic manager, sighing: Congestive heart failure.
Sunbury, Pennsylvania
Coworker on phone: Hi, how are you? (pause) I'm fine, for an aging gentleman!
Manhattan, New York
Secretary on phone: I guess I don't need a tapeworm after all.
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Rite Aid employee #1: My friend died last year, he was really sick, it was sad.
Rite Aid employee #2: Yeah man, my friend from high school recently passed away too.
Rite Aid employee #3 (in a Dominican accent): Yeah, that happened to my friend too. Actually, he did not die. Someone killed him.
Rite Aid
New York, New York
Overheard by: Marie Ziskin
Colleague, typing important serious e-mail to client: Ooops! I typed “sorry for any incontinence!”
Adelaide
Australia
Overheard by: PMSL
