Boss: So I asked my vet if I should let him eat the placenta.
Worker: What the heck did my ears ever do to you?
McKinney, Texas
Boss: So I asked my vet if I should let him eat the placenta.
Worker: What the heck did my ears ever do to you?
McKinney, Texas
Agent: Can you tell me what color the small square or circular sticker is on the back of your phone?
Customer: I had cervical surgery this week. My neck hurts.
Vermillion, South Dakota
Overheard by: Haley
Female coworker: Oh my god, I just skooged all over you! I just shot my load!
(office is silent)
Female coworker: I was squishing my lotion and I even got it on my watch.
Manhattan, New York
Shipping manager: What's wrong with you, little bit? I ain't seen you smile all day.
Short order entry lady: I got my period, so I'm in a bad mood.
Shipping manager: Well, you need to shake it off! Shake the devil off ya!
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Doesn't have the Devil in her
Agitated American Apparel cashier to another: Listen, if you're going to borrow my bodysuit, you have to wear a hygienic pad!
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Co-worker: That’s it — I’m getting nose glasses.
2 Penn Plaza
New York, New York
Engineer with cane: I have a degenerative back problem. The discs push together and the stuff that comes out is the consistency of crab.
Murray, Utah
Overheard by: With a K or a C?
Front desk agent #1, entering bathroom: What are you girls doing? We have a line of guests!
Front desk agent #2: I'm trying to poop and can't concentrate because of her poop problem.
Front desk agent #3: I'm not responsible if she dies, I warned her from the beginning.
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: LasVegas
Guy on cell in building lobby: Yeah, I googled it, and you can buy straitjackets online.
Portland, Maine
Overheard by: Jennifer
Receptionist on phone: I'll be shorter than a midget on his knees!
Washington Navy Yard
Washington, DC
