CSR on phone with daughter: My mom never picked me up when I had cramps. You’re staying at school. Period.
473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon
CSR on phone with daughter: My mom never picked me up when I had cramps. You’re staying at school. Period.
473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon
CSR: Hello Mrs. Batman? This is Robin calling from your hearing aid company about your recent hearing aid purchase. (pause) No, I'm not kidding. My name really is Robin and I'm calling about your hearing aid.
DeKalb, Illinois
Overheard by: Rich
Thin older executive assistant: I'm eating candy, my doctor says I gotta keep my fatty acids up.
Thin younger executive assistant: Your fatty asses?
Thin older executive assistant: Well, that's what candy leads to, I guess.
Tallahassee, Florida
Overheard by: DBA [giggling, one cube over]
Coworker, blowing nose and checking tissue: No wonder I was having trouble breathing!
Memphis, Tennessee
Overheard by: Steve
Medical claims analyst: Have I ever shown you the x-ray of my head?
1009 Windcross Court
Franklin, Tennessee
Son: Do you believe in animal testing?
Mother: Yes and no. I think that it’s fine to do it on all of the extra animals taking up space out there who don’t belong to anyone, but when they take people’s pets from their homes for testing, I think that’s wrong.
4420 Austin Bluffs Parkway
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Salesman to screaming manager: What happened?
Manager: I just castrated myself!
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Not Soon Enough
Manager to assistant: I cream myself twice a day, especially when I go to bed. If you don't do it at my age, you'll get all shriveled up.
Assistant: Yeah.
Delray Beach, Florida
Lunch room breaker #1: The irony is that she was the only one that knew the Heimlich maneuver, but she couldn’t do it because she was six months pregnant.
Dumb dumb: So, why couldn’t she do it?
Lunch room breaker #1: Do you know what the Heimlich maneuver is?
Pine Street
San Francisco, California
Hardhat: Don’t eat the tuna salad in the cafeteria. It made me throw up.
Suit: Food poisoning takes a while. How long did it take to make you sick?
Hardhat: About 5 seconds. All I can figure is, someone must’ve put fish in it – I’m allergic to fish.
7th Street
Minneapolis, Minnesota
