Coworker, blowing nose and checking tissue: No wonder I was having trouble breathing!
Memphis, Tennessee
Overheard by: Steve
Coworker, blowing nose and checking tissue: No wonder I was having trouble breathing!
Memphis, Tennessee
Overheard by: Steve
Medical claims analyst: Have I ever shown you the x-ray of my head?
1009 Windcross Court
Franklin, Tennessee
Son: Do you believe in animal testing?
Mother: Yes and no. I think that it’s fine to do it on all of the extra animals taking up space out there who don’t belong to anyone, but when they take people’s pets from their homes for testing, I think that’s wrong.
4420 Austin Bluffs Parkway
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Salesman to screaming manager: What happened?
Manager: I just castrated myself!
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Not Soon Enough
Manager to assistant: I cream myself twice a day, especially when I go to bed. If you don't do it at my age, you'll get all shriveled up.
Assistant: Yeah.
Delray Beach, Florida
Lunch room breaker #1: The irony is that she was the only one that knew the Heimlich maneuver, but she couldn’t do it because she was six months pregnant.
Dumb dumb: So, why couldn’t she do it?
Lunch room breaker #1: Do you know what the Heimlich maneuver is?
Pine Street
San Francisco, California
Hardhat: Don’t eat the tuna salad in the cafeteria. It made me throw up.
Suit: Food poisoning takes a while. How long did it take to make you sick?
Hardhat: About 5 seconds. All I can figure is, someone must’ve put fish in it – I’m allergic to fish.
7th Street
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Laughing woman with young child: And then I just had to follow the cow around with a bag, waiting for it to poop!
Oakland Zoo
Oakland, California
Overheard by: lith
At little boy spills his drink. The supervisor hands him a mop
Supervisor: Now go clean up the mess you made. This will teach you what you’ll be doing when you grow up.
20410 Highway 46 W
Spring Branch, Texas
Registrant for conference to receptionist: This says we should list food allergies. I listed horses.
Severna Park, Maryland
