Cube guy on phone: Should I e-mail you when I have another dump?
Fairfax, Virginia
Cube guy on phone: Should I e-mail you when I have another dump?
Fairfax, Virginia
Charity worker: His name was Brandon*, and he was about six and he has Down Syndrome and eye cancer, so he has one glass eye, but you can’t tell. But sometimes it plops out. He also needs a major hip replacement, but he does walk most of the time. He can’t talk. He’s sooo cute.
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Bora
Very upset patient to patient coordinator: People think that because I have a severe brain injury I don't know what I am talking about.
Atlanta, Georgia
Ad Design #1: I’m having trouble of sleeping and was thinking of getting Ambien.
Ad Design #2: You’re too young to take sleeping pills. Have you tried crack?
151 West 34th Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: Sarah
Coworker #1: It says here, if a man's index finger is longer than their ring finger they're a third less likely to develop pancreatic cancer.
Coworker #2: Wait, this is your ring finger, right?
(people laugh)
Coworker #1: That's your 'fuck you' finger!
Manhattan, New York
Banker #1: How do you file an old CD referral?
Banker #2: Well you submit it and cancel it and submit it and cancel it and repeat that 5 times, and then wash your hands…Oh, I thought you said OCD referral. Like obsessive-compul–
Banker #1: I get it.
1241 South Wabash Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Teddy
Cubicle rat: He's losing control of his bowels all over the place, his toe nails are long, he stinks and he's getting old. I think I need to put him down.
Cubicle neighbor: I hope you are talking about an animal.
Lansing, Michigan
Coworker to another: He was glowing like a pregnant woman!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: netdpb
Female co-worker: Yeah, these bruises on my legs? I wish I could say they were from S&M. Actually, I was just drunkenly stumbling around.
33 New Montgomery Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: McN
Account Exec #1: Your hair looks short today. Did you wash it this morning?
Account Exec #2: Yeah, I contemplated not washing it, but I decided I should.
Account Exec #1: Friday isn’t a hair washing day.
Account Exec #2: Well, I didn’t wash it yesterday.
Account Exec #1: [Lucy] can go a couple of days without washing her hair.
Account Exec #2: A couple of days?
Account Exec #1: Well, it’s more or less a question of whether or not her scalp is sweaty and smelly.
171 Madison Avenue
New York, NY