Health & Hygiene

Female co-worker #1: So my ob-gyn has been seeing all these young girls for their annuals this summer. She was amazed at how much sex they’re having. Like 2 to 3 times a day. She had to tell them they had to stop having intercourse for a month so the Pill could take effect, and they say, “What are we supposed to do all summer?” She was shocked.
Female co-worker #2: How old are these girls?
Female co-worker #1: She said they’re between 17 and 20 years old.
Female co-worker #2: Geez. Even if I had time to have sex 2 times a day, I’d have better things to do!
Female co-worker #1: Yeah, like clean up after my teenagers!

Motor Vehicle Building
Trenton, New Jersey

Overheard by: Not getting any either

Tech: I came home last night and my right ass was killing me! I had to sit on my left ass!

Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Server-tron

Cube guy on phone: Should I e-mail you when I have another dump?

Fairfax, Virginia

Charity worker: His name was Brandon*, and he was about six and he has Down Syndrome and eye cancer, so he has one glass eye, but you can’t tell. But sometimes it plops out. He also needs a major hip replacement, but he does walk most of the time. He can’t talk. He’s sooo cute.

Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: Bora

Very upset patient to patient coordinator: People think that because I have a severe brain injury I don't know what I am talking about.

Atlanta, Georgia

Ad Design #1: I’m having trouble of sleeping and was thinking of getting Ambien.
Ad Design #2: You’re too young to take sleeping pills. Have you tried crack?

151 West 34th Street
New York, NY

Overheard by: Sarah

Coworker #1: It says here, if a man's index finger is longer than their ring finger they're a third less likely to develop pancreatic cancer.
Coworker #2: Wait, this is your ring finger, right?
(people laugh)
Coworker #1: That's your 'fuck you' finger!

Manhattan, New York

Banker #1: How do you file an old CD referral?
Banker #2: Well you submit it and cancel it and submit it and cancel it and repeat that 5 times, and then wash your hands…Oh, I thought you said OCD referral. Like obsessive-compul–
Banker #1: I get it.

1241 South Wabash Avenue
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Teddy

Cubicle rat: He's losing control of his bowels all over the place, his toe nails are long, he stinks and he's getting old. I think I need to put him down.
Cubicle neighbor: I hope you are talking about an animal.

Lansing, Michigan

Coworker to another: He was glowing like a pregnant woman!

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: netdpb