Employee #1: It’s them damn environmentalists that make the gas prices so high.
Employee #2: Yeah, those morons won’t let us drill for oil anywhere. They’re what’s wrong with this country.
Employee #1: Yeah, them and the French.
North 6th Street
Gainesville, Florida
Overheard by: Environmentalist
Manager: Remember, the customer is always right.
Assistant manager: Right, except when they’re wrong.
Manager: No, they’re always right.
Assistant manager: Totally, except on the odd occasion when they’re wrong.
Manager: …you are so retarded…
557 Church Street
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Pilot: Folks we’ll be flying at 28 thousand feet today, however, the folks at maintenance only gave us enough fuel to fly at 22 thousand feet. So, we’ll see what happens. Enjoy your flight!
Delta Airlines flight
Guy: The worst part of being a corrections officer is when the prisoners want to fight you.
Suit: Yeah, that seems like it would be dangerous.
Guy: No, it’s just that I hate the paperwork.
327 Lakeshore Drive East
Dunkirk, New York
Customer: I would like to complain about the woman who works here. She was very rude to me for no reason, even yelling, and then made me leave.
Clerk: Are you the guy who was walking around naked?
Customer: Oh…ah, well… [Leaves quickly]
Porn store
Bozeman, Montana
Elderly woman to husband: I told you we wouldn’t find it here! I told you the only place we’d find it was a hardware store or a bakery!
Department store
Glendale, Arizona
Drone: With all the cutbacks, re-orgs and layoffs, what is management doing to keep up morale?
Manager: It’s called a paycheck. You know, that thing that magically appears in your bank account every month? That is your motivation. Any more questions?
730 International Parkway
Richardson, Texas
Woman exiting man’s office: Give ’em a copy of your contract — I don’t care. I have better things to do than sit here and jerk myself off.
498 7th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: I care
Manager: So, my wife had to give me an enema this weekend. I thought I was going to die.
New girl: Are you serious?
Manager: Yes. I am always serious.
Christina Street
Sarnia, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Leoness
Straight cube girl: Straight people are a dime a dozen! It’s hard to find a good lesbian lover. You, of all people, should know that.
Straight cube guy: I know, I know.
350 Madison Avenue
New York, New York
