Peon: I’m going to be on a jury! I really hope I get a murder trial, since I’m in the city. When I lived in the country, I had to be on a jury for this guy who hit a cow. I’m like, ‘I don’t want to sit through this!’
351 West Camden Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Temp-tation
Male worker: There’s already been a killing over a PlayStation 3.
Female worker who waited in line but didn’t get one: Well, at least he got to play it for a while!
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: The Temp
Preggers coworker: Call maintenance and tell them to get the air conditioning fixed! You tell them I’m pregnant and I’m in heat up here!
Front Road
Kingston, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Neil Davall
Fund raising exec: We keep hearing about these people who die, and we sit around waiting to hear what they’re going to give to us, and it turns out they’ve left all their money to the crippled children!
Non-profit organization
Washington, DC
Female coworker: I think I’m going to go home. I’m not feeling well.
Gay coworker: I hope it’s not contagious.
Female coworker: No. It’s… woman problems. I don’t think you’ll get infected.
Gay coworker: You’d be surprised.
14th Street and Rhode Island Avenue
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Suprised
Designer: It’s National Talk Like A Pirate Day!
Writer: I know.
Designer: You already knew? And you didn’t tell me? I should smack you.
312 Plum Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
Coworker, after boss made big volunteerism speech: I don’t want to do anything where there’s the possibility of seeing something gross.
Little Rock, Arkansas
Overheard by: that’s the spirit
Grunt, alone in cube: Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater… Fuckin’ bitch.
North Las Vegas, Nevada
Boss on phone: Yeah, you’re a client, but if you don’t pay your bills, you’re only half a client… And not the half I want.
473 Central Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: web edit monkey
Editrix: I remember a time at this company when someone would say there was free food, and I’d go get some. It didn’t matter what it was — I ate it because it was free.
Scheduler: Sounds like a dark time.
2001 Lind Avenue SW
Renton, Washington
Overheard by: Writer guy
