Coworker, after boss made big volunteerism speech: I don’t want to do anything where there’s the possibility of seeing something gross.
Little Rock, Arkansas
Overheard by: that’s the spirit
Coworker, after boss made big volunteerism speech: I don’t want to do anything where there’s the possibility of seeing something gross.
Little Rock, Arkansas
Overheard by: that’s the spirit
Grunt, alone in cube: Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater… Fuckin’ bitch.
North Las Vegas, Nevada
Boss on phone: Yeah, you’re a client, but if you don’t pay your bills, you’re only half a client… And not the half I want.
473 Central Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: web edit monkey
Editrix: I remember a time at this company when someone would say there was free food, and I’d go get some. It didn’t matter what it was — I ate it because it was free.
Scheduler: Sounds like a dark time.
2001 Lind Avenue SW
Renton, Washington
Overheard by: Writer guy
Boss: Okay, so, there have been some changes in the past 24 hours. First of all, [Sharon] has left us for another job.
Team: Ding dong the witch is dead, the wicked old witch is dead!
955 Rumble Road
Smarr, Georgia
Customer: I didn’t realize that I was eligible for this discount!
CSR: Well, we talk about the discount right on the cover letter.
Customer: Well, it’s not right on the application!
CSR: We can’t put it on the application, but sir, it’s right there in the second paragraph of the cover letter.
Customer: But some of us are lazy and don’t read the cover letter!
CSR: I’m not trying to be rude, but we can’t help it if you don’t read what we send you.
181 West Madison Street
Chicago, Illinois
Woman in lift, noticing man cleaning doors: I can’t believe they clean a fucking elevator shaft, but it takes them a week to clean dried-up vomit in the foyer!
Queen Street
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Admin
Telemarketing guy in retirement plan department, slamming down phone: She’s in 401(K) heat! Ugh!
1445 120th Avenue
Bellevue, Washington
Managing Director: Hey, there’s something wrong in my sister’s account. Her street name is spelled wrong.
Assistant: Is she a rapper?
1999 Avenue of the Stars
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: oink
Sales girl: Oh my god… David* is back there cleaning his office and the smell is making my head hurt.
Office manager: What’s he cleaning it with?
Sales girl: The same Fantastic crap under the sink that we all use. I’ve used it on my own desk and never been so overwhelmed by the fumes. Don’t go back there.
Office manager: Why is he cleaning it himself anyway?
Sales girl: I don’t know. (pause) He must be bathing in it. Seriously, I had to get up and walk away.
Office manager: Just close his door.
Sales girl, appalled: I can’t do that! The fumes would kill him! It would be fatal!
Office manager, grabbing her arm: Close the door. Close. The. Door.
England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
