It Takes Chicken to Make a Tender Moment

Token black kid: When Obama is elected we’ll have fried chicken Fridays!
Super white Californian: I love fried chicken!
[they quickly embrace]

UMass
Amherst, Massachusetts

Overheard by: wallflower

Posted on May 29, 2008
Default, Education, Feelings, Massachusetts, Meals and Snacks, Politics

The Company Should’ve Trained Him

Manager: I’ll never get promoted. I’m misunderestimated.
[manager leaves]HR Clerk: If “misunderestimated” is defined as crapping your pants at work, then he is misunderestimated.

Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi

Overheard by: Brain Dancing

Posted on May 29, 2008
Coworkers, Default, Employees, Feelings, General Idiocy, Gripes, Human Resources, Mississippi, Words

We Call It the Snowmobile

Ghetto coworker: My son loves his car, he says he wants to get buried in it. I tell him he’s crazy, but it is a really nice car. It’s an Oldsmobuick* convertible, cocaine white…
Not-so-ghetto coworker: Cocaine white?
Ghetto coworker: Yeah, you know that really pearly white color?
Not-so-ghetto coworker, sarcastically: Does it have meth-yellow trim?
Ghetto coworker, oblivious: No, just white. But I tell him he’s crazy, it would never work. When they put in the dirt it would cave in the roof!

Modesto, California

Overheard by: That’s not my job.

Posted on May 9, 2008
California, Colors, Coworkers, Death, Default, Feelings, Weirdness, Wishes, Words

Or the Fact That Someone’s Listening to Us Talk About Me in a Nappy

Middle management moron: Ha, yes you’d look good in a nappy.
Long-suffering fellow goon: I don’t know what disturbs me more: the thought of *me* in a nappy, or the thought of *you* thinking about me in a nappy.

Osborne Park
Western Australia

Posted on May 9, 2008
Australia, Compare and contrast, Compliments, Coworkers, Default, Employees, Feelings, Physical Appearance, Weirdness

Or Would It Be Better to Say “Happy Newjob”?

Older woman, observing plate of donuts near man: Oh wow, is it your birthday?
Younger man: Actually, it’s my last day today. I got another job.
Older woman: Great. Well, happy birthday!

Madison Avenue
New York City, New York

Overheard by: Chris

Posted on May 8, 2008
Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, Feelings, Hiring & Firing, New York, Questions, Words

I Also Play the Fallopian Tuba

Woman: I really enjoyed your singing this morning.
Girl who sang: Thanks so much!
Woman: Yeah, it’s always so great when someone just sings straight from the ovaries like that.
Girl who sang: Uhh… [Nervous laugh.]

Hotel
Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: Annah

Posted on May 7, 2008
Body Parts, Compliments, Default, Employees, Feelings, Florida, Service, Sexuality, Weirdness, Words

Have You Had a Stroke?

Event planner: Oh, damn, this is terrible news. I just lost a snack set-up. First the breakfast burritos and now this! What’s next… Anything but the Swedish fish!

West 23rd Street
New York City, New York

Posted on May 6, 2008
Animals, Default, Feelings, Gripes, New York, Service, Wishes

The Dating Pool Might Be Deeper Than I Thought

Woman worker: He said to me: “Has anyone ever told you you look like Ricky Schroeder?” I told him he was so rude, you don’t tell a girl she looks like a man. But you know what, I kinda see where he’s coming from.

Lake Oswego, Oregon

Posted on May 5, 2008
Default, Employees, Feelings, Insults, Oregon, Physical Appearance, Pop culture

But the Boss Keeps Yelling at Me to Take the Clothespins Off My Face

CSR on the phone: At first it was a bad pain, and now it’s like a good pain, like I can take it a little more now.

Graphics Drive
White Plains, New York

Overheard by: The Mole

Posted on May 2, 2008
Compare and contrast, Customer Service, Default, Feelings, Health & Hygiene, New York, On the phone, Sensory Experiences

Feelings

The Company Should’ve Trained Him

Have You Had a Stroke?