It’s Not My Type

Cubicle prisoner to herself: I haven’t shoved the keyboard down my throat yet.

Chapel Hill, North Carolina

Overheard by: Everyday Monday

Posted on July 9, 2008
Body Parts, Coworkers, Cubicles, Default, Employees, Feelings, North Carolina, Weirdness

Fetus: What Are You Lookin’ At?

Receptionist: Oh, I forgot today was Friday the 13th. I do pay attention to that, because I was in a bad car accident in high school on a Friday the 13th.
HR assistant: So no going out and drinking tonight, then?
Receptionist (bemusedly): Well…
HR assistant: You’ll just stay home and drink, right?
Receptionist: (laughs) Yeah, that’s when you know you’re an alcoholic, when you stay home and drink.
HR assistant: And you’re pregnant.
Receptionist: Right. Don’t want people being judgmental at the bar.

Airport Way
Seattle, Washington

Posted on July 9, 2008
Default, Employees, Feelings, Health & Hygiene, Human Resources, Receptionists, Substance Use & Abuse, Washington, Weirdness

Glow-in-the-Dark Girl Can’t Help But Brag

Man in lift: How are you, Susan*?
Woman: Radiant, *Stuart.

Government Office
London
England

Posted on June 30, 2008
Default, England, Feelings, Government, Questions

What Brooke Shields Said About Lipstick Jungle

20-something female cube rat: Sounds like a fucking stupid project, and I am really excited to do it some time.

Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California

Posted on June 27, 2008
California, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Cubicles, Default, Feelings, Insults, Weirdness

When He Needs a Condom

Customer service rep: Aaaaahhhhhhh!
Planner: What’s wrong??
Customer service rep: I just saw a mouse!
Planner: Um, yeah, so? That’s just George.
Customer service rep: What?
Planner: Sometimes George likes to come out and play.

Plainfield Pike, Rhode Island

Overheard by: Stuck in my cube

Posted on June 25, 2008
Animals, Coworkers, Customer Service, Customer Support, Default, Employees, Feelings, Rhode Island, Weirdness

Your Boss and I Go Way Back

Trainer: He’s a great guy, but he’s very… How should I put this?
New hire: Anal?
Trainer: Yes. I love anal.

Eagan, Minnesota

Posted on June 24, 2008
Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, Employees, Feelings, Minnesota, Sexuality, Words

It’s Like a Party in My Diaphragm!

Loud office chick: Oh my god, hiccups! I love hiccups! I only get them like three times a year, and I love them!

Hudson Street
New York City, New York

Overheard by: Harriet Vane

Posted on June 20, 2008
Default, Employees, Feelings, Health & Hygiene, Weirdness

That’s a Sobriety Test in and of Itself

Lab tech: He needs to retake the drug screening.
Nurse: Why? He said he was ready to give a urine sample.
Lab tech: Well… How do I put this delicately? He did give us *a* sample… Just not the kind we needed.
Nurse: Wait, you mean… he… Oh my god! How the hell did he poop in that cup? I am impressed!
Lab tech: Yea, I kinda am to.

Hospital
Columbus, Ohio

Overheard by: Workin’ here for the insurance

Posted on June 19, 2008
Compare and contrast, Default, Feelings, General Idiocy, Health & Hygiene, Medical, Nurses, Ohio, Tech People, Weirdness

Seems a Lot Less Gay When You Sing It, Purvis

Window washer #1, singing: I will survive, I will survive!
Window washer #2: Yehaw, that’s right, we will survive!
Window washer #1, singing: As long as I know how to wash I know I’ll stay alive.
Window washer #2: Stay alive! That’s the deal, yeeehaw!!

Jackson
Seattle, Washington

Posted on June 16, 2008
Coworkers, Default, Employees, Feelings, Music, Service, Washington

Bradley Always Gets This Way When He Eats Eggs

Office guy: Woo-hoo! One less child!

Richmond, Virginia

Overheard by: usual suspect

Posted on June 6, 2008
Coworkers, Cubicles, Death, Default, Employees, Feelings, Virginia, Weirdness

Feelings