Engaged young man: I don't think she even likes me.
Older married man: If she liked you, she would never marry you.
Boston, Massachusetts
Engaged young man: I don't think she even likes me.
Older married man: If she liked you, she would never marry you.
Boston, Massachusetts
New worker: So about the health benefit… will my son gets it?
HR: Of course.
New worker: What about my ex-wife? Because for sure I don't want that fucker to get anything.
Menlo Park, California
Lady on phone: Hey, it's Allison. Do you know if there is a website where you can see if someone has an outstanding warrant out for them? (pause) Can you look online and find one? (pause) You know my husband's name, right?
Florida
Overheard by: Scared In Orlando
Coworker #1: Yeah, we just got some lame intern for the department, just because he is friends with the president's daughter.
Coworker #2: Huh? He really is? Isn't she like 13?
Coworker #1: Not Obama, you stoner! The president of the company.
Stonybrook University
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Kevin
Woman at table with large group: We had so much fun on vacation with the kids.
Man next to her: Wouldn't it have been more fun without the kids?
Woman: What? Why, don't you like kids?
Man: Nah, not really. I've never liked kids. I don't know how pedophiles do it.
Restaurant
Detroit, Michigan
Overheard by: PeterG
Boss to pregnant employee: Yeah, but it's not like you're growing the baby in your ass!
Calgary
Canadia
Boss: My daughter used to have a friend when she was little. The kid's mom was from Sweden and the dad was from Slovenia, one of those countries in…where is it again?
Admin: Eastern Europe.
Boss: Exactly, one of those Indian countries.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: workingwithmorons
10-year-old boy to 10-year-old friend: It's happening again.
10-year-old friend: What? You mean, “it?”
10-year-old boy: Yeah, darn it, I can't help it.
10-year-old friend: I think you should tell your mom about it.
10-year-old boy: No, she doesn't have a penis, she wont know what I'm talking about.
Sprint Store
Gilbert, Arizona
Boss to peon eating lunch: So my daughter finally pooped today. It's been at least a few days.
Peon #1, trying to ignore him: Wow. Cool.
Boss: Yeah, it wasn't anything huge like the one a few days ago, but at least she's pooping.
Peon #2: That's great to hear. My poor daughter has been at home with explosive diarrhea all week.
Peon #1: (tosses barely eaten lunch in the garbage and wordlessly walks away)
Sacramento, California
Crazy coworker: If my kid pooped in the closet, I'd rub his nose in it. “No! Bad!”
Sane female coworker: Your kids are going to be taken away by the state.
Sane male coworker: There's not even a question.
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Overheard by: Playtah
