Ten Bucks Says It's Not Even Her Birthday– She's Just Testing Him.

Office lady on phone: I'm your wife! You should know my birthday! (hangs up)

Manhattan, New York

Posted on December 5, 2014
Anger management, Employees, Family, New York, On the phone

I Seem to Have Forgotten Their Names

Man in lift #1: Hey, how’s it going?
Man in lift #2: Yeah, not bad. The wife leaves for England for nine days tomorrow. Leaving me alone. With the kids… I’m not a man who gets scared easily but…

Pirie Street
Adelaide
Australia

Overheard by: Brooklyn

Posted on November 25, 2014
Australia, Coworkers, Default, Family, Feelings, Travel

And Then to the Cleaners

Boss: When you have kids, are you gonna take them to court?
Employee: What?
Boss: I mean, church?

Los Angeles, California

Posted on November 21, 2014
California, Crimes, Dumb Bosses, Employees, Family, Questions, Religion

America: Encapsulated.

Dad: Son, do not be inept when you grow up.
Son: What is “inept”?
Dad: Ridiculously bad at your job.
Son: No promises there, dad.

Washington, Illinois

Overheard by: Laura

Posted on November 18, 2014
Advice, Age and ageing, Family, Family members, Illinois, Parents, Words

We Could Get Matching “L's” on Our Foreheads!

Not so bright coworker: Yeah, I'll probably let my daughter get a tattoo when she turns 16… If she really knows what she wants. I'll even pay for it.

Des Moines, Iowa

Overheard by: coolerthanme

Posted on November 17, 2014
Age and ageing, Coworkers, Family, Iowa, Money, Physical Appearance

Unless She Has Motion Sickness

Office drone: The best way to tell your wife you love her is to give her a sex swing.

Novi, Michigan

Overheard by: Rae

Posted on November 13, 2014
Employees, Family, Feelings, Michigan, Sexuality, Weirdness

Things Have Been Tense Since the Horse Porn Conversation

Manager: Did you make a new folder for the nursery division?
Accountant: Did I?
Manager: Yes, did you?
Accountant: Would I?
(manager stares blankly)

Freehold, New Jersey

Overheard by: Max

Posted on November 6, 2014
Bosses, Family, Financial Folk, New Jersey, Weirdness

Hence the Old Expression “Hung Like a Texas Grandma”

Peon, to neighbor: At least I know how to spell it. I may not know how to spell totes, but I know how to spell that word.
Boss, interrupting: What do you know how to spell?
Peon: Vasectomy. V-a-s-e-c-t-o-m-y.
Boss: And in what context do you need to spell “vasectomy” in a work e-mail?
Peon: I just wanted to let you guys know what is going on with this dude, he's going to be on the phone a lot today.
Boss: Dude is getting a vasectomy?
Peon, pointing back and forth to her left and right boob: No, his grandma is.
Boss: Yeah, that's not a vasectomy.

Humble, Texas