He Keeps Telling Me It's What Jesus Would Do

Sales rep #1: So last night I told my husband I don't believe in anal sex.
Sales rep #2: Really? How'd that go?
Sales rep #1: Not so good.

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Posted on December 31, 2014
Body Parts, Family, Pennsylvania, Questions, Sales, Sexuality

“Deadline” Seems Even Worse, Somehow

HR head: So, when's the, uh…I guess, “drop-dead date” for your baby?
Hugely pregnant admin: Uh…what? You mean the latest date before my doctor induces?
HR head: Yeah. The drop-dead date.
Hugely pregnant admin: Wow.

Phoenix, Arizona

Posted on December 30, 2014
Admins, Arizona, Death, Family, General Idiocy, Health & Hygiene, Human Resources, Questions

His Name Was Ibid.

Coworker: I just think young people don't have good work ethnics. (a couple minutes later) My grandfather was a very interesting man. I wrote a bibliography about him.

Saskatoon
Saskatchwan
Canadia

Posted on December 30, 2014
Age and ageing, Canadia, Coworkers, Family, General Idiocy, Race, Words

Um, You're Pregnant.

Woman in line with unruly child: Now you stand there and behave! (two seconds later) Ow, don't you bite me!
Younger woman behind her: That reminds me, I have to pick up my birth control pills!

Lansing, Michigan

Overheard by: Kevin

Posted on December 29, 2014
Family, Family members, Health & Hygiene, Kids, Michigan, Strangers, Violence

2PM Disciplinary Action

HR person: My kids in my home are never too old to be spanked. My daughter’s fourteen, and I’ll beat her ass. Then I’ll tell her, ‘It’s not over. Wait ’til I call your father and he beats your ass.’

1190 North Del Rio Place
Ontario, California

Posted on December 28, 2014
California, Creepsters, Family, Human Resources, Violence

He’s More of a Strap Things on Kind of Guy

Coworker on phone: My husband knows how to strap things down probably like your husband.

Melrose Ave
Nashville, Tennessee

Overheard by: ihear2much

Posted on December 26, 2014
Coworkers, Family, Sexuality, Tennessee, Words

What Do You Mean “You Can Pay for It There”?

40-something office worker: I couldn't get a hold of my husband this morning, he's in China, but he's not black or a rich nerdy white guy, so I know he's not getting any while he's there.

Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: eesh

Posted on December 23, 2014
Employees, Family, Physical Appearance, Race, Sexuality, Texas, Travel

It’s What She Would Want If She Weren’t Selfishly Preoccupied With Her Little Personal Problems

Co-Worker #1: …and who ordered the salad?
Co-Worker #2: Marie*, but she left for the day.
Co-Worker #1: Is she okay?
Co-Worker #2: I hope so. She was crying when she left. I guess the police called and said her 7-year-old daughter was a town over from where she was supposed to be, and no one knows where the sitter went.
Co-Worker #1: Oh, that’s awful. [long pause] So you think that means I can eat her salad?

Providence, Rhode Island

Overheard by: Kate