Coworker to another: If your balls were full of oxygen and my wife were drowning, she'd rather die than suck on your balls.
Durham, North Carolina
Coworker to another: If your balls were full of oxygen and my wife were drowning, she'd rather die than suck on your balls.
Durham, North Carolina
Office mate: Someday I'm going to have to crawl under my desk and pick up my husband…
Memphis, Tennessee
Overheard by: Andrea
Marketing manager: My uncle had a chicken incident, and then he learned to keep his pants on.
Queen Anne Avenue
Seattle, Washington
CSM, on holiday preparations: My family makes me want to smuggle drugs in my ass.
Hailey, Idaho
Disheveled cashier to customer buying towels: So I said to my daughter, “No, you can't have another towel. When you come out of the shower you are clean, so you can just keep using that same towel until next month.”
Wal-Mart
Rockford, Illinois
Overheard by: Lindsey B
Coworker #1: Are you talking about that chimp attack?
Coworker #2: No, I was talking about my daughter's new baby.
Coworker #1: Oh…sorry, man.
California
Overheard by: Iheareverything
Salesman: Yeah, I’m fucking fed up with that guy. He hasn’t sent in his reports for weeks. Just keeps flying out to Texas. What the fuck are we paying him for, anyway?
Manager: Texas? What’s he doing in Texas?
Salesman: Oh, apparently his dad died or something.
3000 Birch
Brea, California
Debt collector: Yes, sweetie, those are like the big balls grandma has…
Nebraska
Employee: Did you punch your mother?
Manager: You know…some mothers just deserve to be punched.
Arizona
Overheard by: George
