Data entry thug: Your family has a practice, and the practice is to bend you over backwards and fuck you as hard as they can.
Bronx
New York City, New York
Overheard by: glad I'm not related
Supervisor: So you and your brother have different fathers, then?
Worker: Yeah.
Supervisor: So you guys are related through your mom.
Worker: Naw, not really.
Supervisor: Wait, so how are you guys related, then?
Worker: I dunno. We’re just brothers.
3901 Via Oro Avenue
Long Beach, California
Overheard by: bored on first day of work
Cube dweller #1: How was your weekend?
Cube dweller #2: It was good! I went to the movies… Oh, and my mom said I could stop taking the medication she gave me.
Chicago, Illinois
Case worker: My husband was laying around like a little faggot last night.
Norristown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Spazzy
Peon on the phone: My brother in-law’s sister is coming over tonight, I think I’m gonna nail her. [Pauses.] Why not? He nailed mine.
Industrial Park Drive
Texas
Overheard by: peon incharge
Patient #1 to family member on Skype: Yeah, they're taking real good care of me. (to nurse) Say hi to my sister.
(nurse leans in to computer screen, waves hello)
Family member on Skype: Is he being a good patient?
Patient #2, on other side of curtain: He's cryin' like a little bitch!
Stony Brook Hospital
Long Island, New York
Girl: Ummm… You need boy juices in order to make a baby.
610 Broadway
Portland, Oregon
Employee: So, I know that we don't normally do this, but my father in law is sick and I need to telecommute from here. Is that okay?
Boss on speaker phone: Well, I guess telecommuting is acceptable for this week, but try not to let the situation go on much longer.
Employee to husband after, hanging up the phone: I think he just told me to kill your father.
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: I don't know that I have that kind of power!
UPS guy: Here are your packages.
Secretary: Are you looking at my twins? (about photo of twin granddaughters)
UPS guy: Uh, no, time to go!
Manchester, New Hampshire
