Employee accompanied by small child: I smashed it on the ground and then I hit it with a chair, and now it feels like it's on fire. It's not, but it feels that way.
Small child: (inaudible)
Employee: No, I don't think any blood's coming out.
Redmond, Washington
Cube dweller on phone: Hahaha… yeah, I can just imagine them literally chasing you around, and smearing you with that stuff!
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: I don't want to get smeared
Cubicle rat on phone: I expect a white man to lie to me, not a black guy.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Greg
Agent, about client: She is just as nice as pie! I swear, she should get pregnant more often.
Boston, Massachusetts
Publicist: It was amazing. Stevie could do everything. He could leave his apartment, go to the elevator, everything.
Proofer: Wow. He didn’t even need a cane?
Publicist: Of course not; he’s not that old.
1438 North Gower Street
Los Angeles, California
Accounting: You submitted a payment request for a renewal fee.
Peon: Yes.
Accounting: Can you find out how long the renewal term is for?
Peon: It says “annual renewal fee” on the invoice.
Accounting: Yeah, I saw that, but do you know when it’s valid until?
Peon: It says valid from October 31, 2005 on the invoice.
Accounting: Yeah, but can you make sure? You never know it could be for like two years or something.
3700 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Frazzled accountant: So yes, please mail me the statement ASAP! Yes, thanks, thanks. Okay, love you.
(after a minute, to peon)
Did I just say “I love you”?
California
Guy behind counter, looking at something on the floor: I don't know what it is, but it's gooey…
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Chris Who Isn't Dead
Office lady: How can you drink that much Red Bull?
Computer nerd: I don’t know, you build up a tolerance.
Office lady: If I drank that much I’d be whacking off the walls.
Computer nerd: Umm, you’d do what?
117th St
Broomfield, Colorado
Overheard by: The other nerd
Boss, to friend: So then I took her out to my car and let little Spiderman fire his web shooter all over her fa…
Employee, from back in the stockroom: Aaaaaaaaaaaaarghh! Jesus Christ, I'm quitting.
Hot Topic
West Virginia
Overheard by: oh dear
