…Think It's, Like, Military Code?

Older male student records assistant on phone: Does the word “Firefox” mean anything to you?

Walnut Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on March 14, 2021
Education, Employees, General Idiocy, Internet, On the phone, Pennsylvania, Questions, Words

Hey, Don't Stereotype Us Based on What We Put in Our Mouths

Seaman, next to air force guys: I love Dick's! (pause) The restaurant, that is.
Airman: We always knew there was something about you seamen.

San Antonio, Texas

Overheard by: I like them too.

Posted on March 13, 2021
Body Parts, Employees, Meals and Snacks, Texas, The Military, Weirdness, Words

He Got 500 Hours as Punishment for Having Lisa Marie

Office girl: My mom said she almost wrecked her car the other day because she was watching Elvis pick up trash on the side of the road. My mom said he was picking up trash in his jumpsuit, right there on the side of the road.
Office guy: Elvis was doing a little community service, was he?

Charlotte, North Carolina

Posted on March 12, 2021
Accidents, Coworkers, Crimes, Death, Employees, Gossip, Lies, Music, North Carolina, Questions, Travel, Weirdness

Why Law Students Are No Longer Allowed to Read Shakespeare

Partner, on phone: Vengeance is mine, sayeth the lawyer. He will pay.

Huntington, New York

Overheard by: Lady Lawyer

Posted on March 2, 2021
Crimes, Employees, Money, New York, On the phone, Words

You're Very Talented at Gnawing Off Duct Tape, by the Way.

Owner: All I can do about it is bitch, so I'll bitch. Is that okay with you?
Clerk: We haven't found a way to stop you yet, so yeah, I guess so.

Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: BFS

Posted on February 27, 2021
Anger management, Bosses, Employees, Gripes, Indiana, Questions

So I Can Only Loan It to You for an Hour or So

Pretty blonde girl: Umm, excuse me, but do you have a tampon? I'm desperate.
Obese, sassy librarian: Yeah, I have one. But it's inserted.

Monson Free Library
Monson, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Sarah

Posted on February 25, 2021
Customers, Employees, Health & Hygiene, Massachusetts, Offers and requests, Weirdness

Mr. Magoo Wouldn't Listen, Though

Boss in hallway (with hand on doorknob): Are you joining me in this conference room?
Peon: That's the closet.

Cleveland, Ohio

Overheard by: just another peon

Posted on February 24, 2021
Bosses, Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, Offers and requests, Ohio, Possible Sexual Harassment, Questions

Tonight on WWE Smackdown: Clash of the Bureaucrats!

FBI agent: Excuse me, I’m an investigator for the FBI. I would like a copy of a student’s transcript.
Registrar: Ok. You need to pay a $7 transcript fee.
FBI agent: Uh. I don’t think I need to pay that. I’m an investigator for the FBI.
Registrar: Everybody has to pay for a transcript.
FBI agent: I think I will have to speak to your supervisor.
Registrar: I’m sorry, but that’s what the sign says.

John Jay College of Criminal Justice, 10th Avenue
New York, New York

Overheard by: Waiting next in line