Coworker on phone: Okay, don't punch any prisoners in the face.
Fordham University
Manhattan, New York
Coworker on phone: Okay, don't punch any prisoners in the face.
Fordham University
Manhattan, New York
Office worker #1: She has a degree from Harvard and another from Yale.
Office worker #2: Well, if she's so smart, why is she working for the government?
Pentagon
Washington, DC
Woman: So, you're taking your daughter swimming today?
Man: Yeah, her first lesson is doggy style.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: I didn't think we lived in West Virgina
Little old Indian professor, struggling to set up lecture on Excel: I am feeling retarded. This is why I don't use those iPods and stuff…I am afraid.
Tufts University
Medford/Somerville, Massachusetts
Overheard by: microsoft excel is pretty evil
Coworker #1: Yeah, we just got some lame intern for the department, just because he is friends with the president's daughter.
Coworker #2: Huh? He really is? Isn't she like 13?
Coworker #1: Not Obama, you stoner! The president of the company.
Stonybrook University
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Kevin
Cashier, ringing up books: Okay, ma'am, and would you like to donate a book to a foster child tonight?
Customer: No, it's okay, I'm already doing a foster child.
(cashier stares in shock)
Customer: Oh, wait. I meant to say I'm mentoring a foster child.
Barnes & Noble
Seattle, Washington
Crazy coworker: If my kid pooped in the closet, I'd rub his nose in it. “No! Bad!”
Sane female coworker: Your kids are going to be taken away by the state.
Sane male coworker: There's not even a question.
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Overheard by: Playtah
Grad student: So I think that the manuscript should be organized differently…
(advisor's phone rings, he has a quick conversation in Arabic)
Advisor: Goddammit, sorry. I hate when my damn Arab relatives call, they always want me to set them up with prostitutes for their trips to the United States.
Grad student: Uh…
Advisor: Anyway, where is figure 3 going in your paper now?
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
Coworker #1: I heard on the radio this morning that this girl is selling her virginity for tuition on eBay.
Coworkers #2 and #3: Oh, that's terrible!
Coworker #4: That girl's so ignorant, she won't even be able to walk to school!
Toronto
Canadia
Sales associate #1: So I might go to Japan.
Sales associate #2: You should go. I would be Japanese as shit.
Sales associate #1: The only reason I wouldn't would be to get my degree in pharmaceuticals.
Sales associate #2: Oh. You should do that. I always need drugs.
Clothes Store
Williamsburg, New York
