Dorks, Geeks, & Nerds

Good looking male computer geek: Her nick is “slutpants.” That sounds… promising.
African American geek: Girl, don't even act like you don't have a pair of slut pants.
Ginger geek: I'm so slutty I don't wear pants!
African American geek: You're gonna get gonorrhea.
Ginger geek: I'd rather get syph. It's the romantic STD.
Good looking male computer geek: Well, too bad you're going to get gonorrhea!

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Geek #1: It's really hard to find an adult Girl Scout costume.
Geek #2: I wonder why, I'm sure there are fat Girl Scouts. (pause) I'm not saying you're fat! I'm just saying you're old.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Had to run from the room.

:-O

Crotchety supervisor, holding up printed copy of e-mail: You two are computer nerds. What does this mean? (points at an emoticon)
Analyst #1: It's a smiley face.
Crotchety supervisor, turning the paper sideways: Oh, I see the colon is the eyes and…what the hell is wrong with you people? (crumples up e-mail and walks away)
Analyst #2: Have a nice day!

Oakland, New Jersey

Overheard by: >:(

Nerdy office guy: I showed you my back hair before, haven't I?

Durham, North Carolina

Overheard by: The office Gossip

Game developer on speakerphone: Bestiality is totally the new Wii.

Columbus Circle
New York City, New York

Overheard by: The Professor

Geek #1: So, I just don't know why it's running so slowly.
Geek #2: Did you take a tcp dump?
Geek #1: Oh, that's a good idea. I'll go take a dump and look at it!
Geek #2: Let me know how that works out for you.

Westminster, Colorado

IT dork: It’s like Christmas when you get to open a new server!

Berkeley Street
Boston, Massachusetts

IT nerd: So, we’ll move that code to production at 5 AM on Thursday.
Programmer: Is that in the morning?

Mt. Prospect Plaza, Illinois

Overheard by: smeagol

Professor: So, you know how if you feed your sister-in-law’s kid a lot of sugar and caffeine, and he gets all crazy-like and runs around screaming? Well, that’s like exciting the molecule. And after a while, the excitement dies down, and he hits something. Like a wall. And if you’re lucky, he vomits. Fluorescence is the vomit of molecule excitation.

High Point University
High Point, North Carolina

Overheard by: This is what we’re teaching the leaders of tomorrow?

Nerdy worker: Well, unfortunately she had rubbed her butt across the floor. Man, it smelled so bad.
Coworker: Oh my god!
Nerdy worker: Yeah, we used some Febreze on it, so it was a little better yesterday.

Highway 280
Birmingham, Alabama

Overheard by: Glad I don’t work for Stanley Steamer